Chapter 34: Truth and Resolution
The world expanded.
The ‘world’ had always referred to the gigantic continent until now. And the vast seas and the four corners of the world were the boundaries that marked its edge.
Explorers overflowing with adventurous spirit had tried to cross beyond the seas and the four corners as they wondered about what existed beyond the edges of the world, but it had been impossible.
The world was spherical, according to the calculations, and you should be able to end up back where you started if walked continuously in a perfectly straight line. But no one had ever been able to cross the ocean or the four corners. The menacing monsters that lived there weren’t the only reason why. You would inevitably lose your way at some point even if you tried to traverse the ocean or the four corners in a straight line. And you would ultimately find yourself going back the way you had come.
That was why the people had thought that the realm of the gods, where no man could step foot, existed beyond the four corners. That the four corners marked the boundary of the world.
But then…….
A Cataclysm occurred while the Bahamut Empire, which had cast the world into darkness, was clashing against the Kingdom of Ex-knights.
The earth heaved and fell.
The stars showered down or vanished from the heavens.
Mountains formed, rugged canyons cracked open, and plains stretched out. Rivers flowed, lakes pooled, and the seas rushed in.
No one in the world had known it, but the world had been ending beyond the continent’s borders. The dragons had only just been managing to stay it by using their powers over the earth, water, fire, and wind. But now, the area in which the world had been ending had broken free from that fate and had become new lands that life could live in. The world had expanded.
“My word.”
“What on earth is happening?”
There had also been an alarming change in the world where life had already been living, though it hadn’t been as drastic as anything that had happened when the world was being created.
New oceans and seas formed here and there, as if the power of water intended to break the continent to pieces. And new mountain ranges, like spines, rose up by the power of the earth.
It wasn’t uncommon for neighboring villages to suddenly find themselves at the top of a mountain or transported far away. Some had even turned into islands because an ocean had appeared out of nowhere. The people needed to recreate their maps.
And the biggest difference was in how the air felt against the skin and how the magnitude of the pressure weighing down on the body had changed. All life was made to instinctively know that the world had changed.
“What in the……?”
But no living being could remember what had happened during the Cataclysm itself. It was truly very bizarre, but everyone had fallen into a daze, and the world had been unturned by the time that they all snapped back to their senses. It was almost as if their time had stopped while the world continued to change over the course of an eternity.
It was strange that no one knew how the world had changed even though it had changed so drastically, and it was also strange that no living being had died during the process. How was this possible?
But these questions were answered quickly enough.
[There are no more limits to your world now.]
A dry but overpowering voice resounded in the air. The dragons who had been guarding the four corners of the world had soared up into the skies and were flying freely.
[You are free. The future of the world rides on your shoulders. And it will change in accordance to your choices, whether it be for destruction or for prosperity.]
The people were alarmed to learn that there was not only just one legendary dragon living in the heart of the Lotso Mountains, but four more of them.
[The prophesized destruction has vanished, and our mission has come to an end. We will no longer protect you or the world. We will simply watch as we maintain our neutrality.]
And their great voices made the people instinctively realize something.
The world had been heading toward destruction, and the great dragons had been preventing it from ending. It was the dragons who had safeguarded them from the Cataclysm.
And their protection had come to an end today.
The dragons stretched out their bodies, which they had huddled up for innumerable years, and spread open their wings. They were freed from their duties now, and the savored their freedom for the very first time. And they flew, as if the skies had been their homes all along.
All life in the world had no choice but to accept the fact that the world had changed.
“Gather information.”
Every country formed exploration parties and began exploring the changed world. They needed to gather as much information as possible if they wanted to survive.
Ex-knights sent out an exploration party as well.
The mythical races heard what the dragons had said and were the first to realize that the four corners had changed. And so, they began exploring the four corners.
“The four corners have become strange.”
“My word —where even are we?”
They had lived in the four corners their entire lives, but even they had no idea where anything was. And everything was so vast that even just looking around was enough to overwhelm them.
The mythical races carefully investigated the lands that had once been called the four corners and concluded that anyone could survive in them now. The four corners had disappeared, and ‘new continents’ had appeared in their place.
Soon enough, people realized that life could not adapt to the changed world and that gathering information was pointless.
Adapting meant that you took the time to adjust after your environment had changed. And it was only possible after the change in environment had settled down.
But the world continued to change quietly and endlessly without giving life the time to adapt. There was no point in gathering information because the world kept changing overnight.
It quickly became impossible to explore the world at all. This was because the laws of physics, which all life had taken for granted as naturally as breathing, had become strange, because the rule of mana, which governed the Age of Magic, had become useless, and because the Bahamut Empire began raging more ferociously than she had been before the Cataclysm.
The laws of physics had become strange because constants like speed and power —which had all been tested and formulized long ago— had changed. And this brought about more trivial yet colossal changes to life, like the type and direction of the winds or one’s body becoming lighter than one remembered.
And the rule of mana had become useless became people had lost the ability to use ‘mana.’
‘Mana’ had disappeared from the world. More precisely, only those whom one of ‘two people’ —Arhad, the king of Ex-knights and Taylon, the Bahamut emperor— had permitted were allowed to use mana now.
Mana had originally belonged to Arhad, but everyone had been able to use it equally before because he had not asserted his ownership over it.
But Taylon, who had connected his heart to Arhad’s and had awakened the Demon’s fragment he possessed, also had an equivalent ownership over mana now. And Taylon had disallowed every living being in the world save for those affiliated with his empire from controlling mana.
Arhad had no choice but to allow the people of Ex-knights to control mana too. But that was the most he could do because his tug-of-war against Taylon against the right to control mana was at a standstill.
“What do we do?”
The rest of the world was made to know as the two nations continued to war against each other. That mana was not a blessing of the gods but a power that belonged to just two people. They didn’t know how Arhad and Taylon had managed to become the owners of mana, but they understood that no one could use mana without their sanction now.
“How do we live from now on?”
The people, who had suddenly been robbed of their ability to control mana, despaired. They could no longer protect themselves with magic or fortification, nor could they use the mana artefacts that took up half their lives.
But hope had also slowly begun to sprout alongside the despair…….
More than a few people had realized that another power that wasn’t mana also existed in the world after the Cataclysm. It was the ‘aura of nature,’ which had no owner. It had existed ever since Laos had first created this world and no one had noticed it because it had been so faint, but it had been amplified ever since the Cataclysm and its presence was made known to the world now.
“This aura is divine power.”
The Faith of Laos, which had long since known about ‘divine power,’ published everything that they knew about it.
“Divine power is the true power that God Laos granted us. And it is also a new opportunity presented before us now that we can no longer use mana!”
But divine power, which could not be seduced by life in the same way that mana could be, was not very easy to control. Only those who had trained their minds and bodies to the extreme could absorb and gather the divine power of nature inside them and control it.
If there had previously been about 40% of people who had been able to control mana to some extent in the past, then less than 10% of people could control divine power to some extent. And only about 5% of that 10% could actually control divine power properly.
Thus, most people turned to something else to help them survive in this dangerous world.
“We must research the laws of physics.”
They turned to nature itself. Nature was fair to all.
And so, mana, divine power, and science began to co-exist in the world.
“Die! Be destroyed! Fall!”
But Bahamut only continued to wage war like she meant to destroy the world and like she could not have cared any less about how the world had changed.
“Let’s leave.”
There were also people who took the messy flow of the world as an opportunity to raise their own flags and leave for the rest of the world while avoiding Bahamut.
The world was chaos itself.
“The Age of Magic has ended.”
And the historians declared the end of the Age of Magic where mana had ruled.
The Cataclysm had upturned everything and thrown everything into chaos, and it was now an age where no one could see what was in front of them but had to wander and find their path even still.
This was the start of the ‘Dark Age.’
~~*~~
“…….”
Arhad clutched his forehead because his head hurt.
His work didn’t ever seem to end.
He worked and fought and worked and fought…
Taylon deployed every vicious means he had available to him, as if everything he had been patiently enduring until now was exploding out, and attacked in his attempts to kill Arhad and destroy Ex-knights as soon as he had recovered.
But Arhad had learned the secret behind Taylon’s body, and he was not one to simply allow himself to be defeated. No, he would never allow himself to be defeated.
“…….”
Arhad brought his hand back down and looked toward a certain spot in the air.
The space where he was looking waned as a rift formed.
Arhad walked through the rift and stepped inside. He found himself in a small room where there was only a table, a chair, and a bed.
There was a vase with a single golden Adonis flower inside sitting on the table.
And lying on the bed was Ianna, whose crimson hair was scattered over the table as she lie there pallid.
Creak.
Arhad sat down on the chair beside the bed.
He stared quietly into Ianna.
Time did not flow in this room.
More precisely, time did flow, but it was stayed at just one moment because Arhad kept erasing it.
The gorgeous Adonis flower could not wither in this room, and neither could Ianna’s body, which was lingering on the boundary between death and life but plummeting toward death, die here.
“Ianna.”
Arhad called for her hoarsely, but Ianna did not reply.
It had been a month since Ianna had collapsed.
That day when he had been stabbed in the heart because of Kandemayon and Taylon’s trap.
‘I need to live.’
Arhad had been filled only with the thought that he had to survive.
Ianna was crying.
He had to hurry up and get back on his feet so he could wipe away her tears.
This was the worst outcome possible, but it was also something that he had predicted. He hadn’t told Ianna, but he had once assumed that Taylon was after ‘Arhad’s’ heart, had imagined something like this happening, and had come up with ways to deal with the situation.
Arhad had maintained his frigid rationality and had strengthened his heart with mana and called upon his power even as his crimson blood was spurting out from him.
The key was ‘Heart Sharing.’
Taylon had cast the Heart Sharing spell in order to rob Arhad of his everything, but that had proved to be a doubled-edged blade. If their hearts were connected to each other, then that meant that any damage that Arhad’s heart suffered was reflected perfectly on Taylon’s heart too. Arhad could restore his heart even if it was ruined thanks to his ability to erase time, but Taylon could not.
Moreover, Arhad could also transfer his consciousness over to Taylon’s body because Taylon’s body not only possessed half of his soul but their hearts were connected now as well. This meant that he could compete with Taylon over the right to control the latter’s body.
In other words…
‘I’ll take control over Taylon’s body and force him to commit suicide.’
It would’ve been nice if the bastard’s heart shattered first, unable to withstand the shock, but leaving everything to an uncertain hope wasn’t Arhad’s way of doing things.
Fweeeee…….
Arhad mixed his divine power of the night sky and Ianna’s crimson divine power together and wrapped it tightly around his heart. He needed his heart to last until he could mount a counterattack.
‘I absolutely refuse to die.’
He needed to live. Even if it was only for Ianna, who called him her happiness, he needed to live. He needed to live because he wanted to be happy with Ianna.
Arhad endlessly erased his heart’s time even as he faded in and out of consciousness while being stabbed repeatedly and focused his concentration on the half of his soul that was inside Taylon. He stubbornly clung to his consciousness even as he stood on the boundary between consciousness and unconsciousness and finished preparing to transfer himself over to Taylon.
But just as his consciousness left ‘Arhad’s body.’
The situation had turned on its head. Ianna had protected him from Taylon. And Taylon had pathetically been forced to withdraw after failing to kill him.
Arhad’s soul slowly came back to consciousness from its unconscious state. His heart had lost nearly all of its ability to function, but his powerful will had squeezed the very last drops of strength out from it.
But the great power that maintained the world’s equilibrium had stopped his power of Time Erasure from bringing his heart back to normal. It had rather frankly and offensively declared that providence dictated that his heart must be destroyed and he must die.
Such bullshit.
He should have never obtained the power to erase time to begin with if it was impossible to defy providence. He had beat back providence once, so there was no reason why he couldn’t do it again. He would survive this no matter what.
Arhad had been battling the Balance’s power while flickering in and out of consciousness when he suddenly heard something shocking, though he couldn’t know if they were real or simply a distorted hallucination…….
“Why did I come back?! For what purpose —why am I even alive?!”
“It was because I was determined to defeat you, who always defeated me! Because I vowed to be your knight because you wanted me so badly……!”
The Balance’s power, which Arhad had been struggling against, suddenly shattered and was rendered powerless. His ruined heart was fully restored not by his power of Time Erasure but by the power of the spirits.
“Ian…na?”
Ianna had truly been on the brink of death by the time he finally returned to his senses. He urgently activated his Time Erasure and desperately clung to her life just as it about to flicker out like a candle.
Time Erasure was a tremendous power that could even bring back the dead.
But Ianna’s soul, which had left her body, did not return. Arhad erased time over and over again, but her soul……did not return.
“Ianna, please!”
Arhad had promptly brought Ianna back to the castle and pushed himself to erase an entire day of Ianna’s time. After all, Ianna had been perfectly alive a day ago.
But her soul still hadn’t come back. Her body became a mess, like it had been while she had carried him out from Pandemonium, but her body began to die again because she had lost her soul.
Arhad had the spirits, who were still summoned, restore her body and placed her in the ‘Room of Time’ which he had created.
Then, he had started erasing time nonstop so that it could not influence Ianna at all. The divine power of nature had increased explosively and Arhad could make it his, so he fortunately did not need to expend much of his own divine power.
He could keep Ianna’s body alive forever as long as he continued to erase time. His heart was stronger than it had ever been before, and it could more than erase tiny moments of time nonstop.
The problem, was Ianna’s soul.
A day had passed, and then another, but Ianna’s soul still hadn’t returned.
Her body was like an empty shell. This was different from the comatose state that Eiji had been in. Ianna’s soul had vanished completely, and it was no longer connected to her body at all. She was truly on the brink of death.
It was similar to what had happened in the past, when Arhad had to accept Kandemayon and Laos’ help and erase the entire world’s time because Ianna’s soul hadn’t returned even though he had turned back time.
Arhad had met Laos and Kandemayon for the first time when he had carried Ianna’s corpse up to the heart of the Lotso Mountains in the past.
He had been prepared to do anything so long as it meant that he could bring Ianna back to life. That was why he had sought out Kandemayon, the divine being who might know about the secret art of resurrection.
And that was also where Arhad had met Laos. Laos, the pure white god whom he had only just met, had been extremely pallid.
“I have won in the end, Laos. It is my victory,”
said the black colored girl, whom Arhad assumed was Kandemayon, as she sneered at Laos. She continued,
“The prophecy you so longed for never came to pass. What exactly did you wait millennia for?”
Laos ignored Kandemayon, and, in a subdued voice, asked,
“Why have you carried her here?”
“I want to bring this woman back to life.”
“Didn’t you kill her yourself?”
“Does that matter? —just tell me how to bring her back. You survived the End of the Holy Age alone and recreated the world, so bringing back one person should be easy for you.”
Arhad’s entire being was raging with the Demon’s malice and a madman’s lunacy as he spoke. He would slay even gods if he didn’t like Laos’ answer. Laos looked like he had mixed feelings as he replied,
“All living beings are born, live their lives, and end with death. It is impossible to regress from death back to life. Even I cannot change this flow, which had existed since the Beginning. I am not an omnipotent god. All I can do is create Laws that don’t disrupt the Balance too greatly.”
“…….”
“‘Ianna’s’ body has already completed its life. But it would not run against providence for her to go from life to death, then from death progressively reincarnate into a third party. I will help you make that happen, if that is your wish.”
“A third party?”
“It means that Ianna will no longer be herself. She will become a third party who will no longer be her. I will let that third party be born, if that is your wish. What will be the price for that, Kandemayon?”
“There is none. It’s not a problem because you’d only be hastening the process of her reincarnation by a little. The world will end before long anyway, so I don’t care about the birth about just one more being.”
Ianna would stop being Ianna?
But that wasn’t what Arhad wanted. The person he loved and obsessed over was the person named Ianna. It was only the person named Ianna.
She promised to be my knight in our next life. But I don’t care about some next life where I won’t be able to remember your promise. I need you by my side now. You need to be ‘Ianna’ again in your next life too…….
His fickle wish to bring her back to life after killing her himself brought his selfishness to its peak. That one wish filled the entirety of Arhad’s soul and filled his head as he went insane. He hugged the corpse, which had begun to decay, close to him as he began to think obsessively.
If I can’t bring her back to life, then I want to turn back time.
I want to turn back time.
I will turn back time.
To a time before she died…….
He would make it happen even if the gods themselves said it was impossible. He didn’t care about how. There was nothing he couldn’t do. There was surely a weakness that he could exploit in time, which appeared perfect, just like how the Demon had created mana and magic from divine power and unique abilities, which had also appeared perfect.
His love, violent enough to destroy the world, disrupted equilibrium and ultimately provided him with the power to interfere with time.
And Arhad realized that he could now ‘Erase’ time itself.
Boooom…….
He immediately began erasing the time from Ianna’s body. Her decaying body was restored. Even the wound from when Arhad had stabbed her in the heart had disappeared.
Laos brightened up when he realized that Arhad had newly awakened to his power, and Kandemayon made a face.
“It looks like our bet isn’t over quite yet.”
“……Indeed.”
Arhad erased Ianna’s time with his newfound power. But, why was it? Ianna would not wake up. Her body continued to be brought back to life, but it simply proceeded to die again every time.
Laos stood next to him and quietly explained,
“It looks like your power only half-works on her. Her soul isn’t coming back.”
“Why not?”
“You likely already know this, but powers don’t work well on those who have a stronger ego than you. Ianna’s ego is too firm. Her ego is probably either similar in strength to yours or maybe even stronger.”
Arhad could accept that. After all, he had been defeated because he had failed to win her heart. Laos continued,
“So, I’ll open the doors to the Akashic Records for you instead. Please go there and erase all the time that the world had recorded at once. Erase Time until the point when ‘Ianna’s’ soul first settles into ‘Ianna’s’ heart.”
Laos opened the doors to the Truth for Arhad.
“The records of time in the Akashic Records are interconnected with the world. If you Erase Time from the Akashic Records, then the world will return to the point in time when Ianna’s heart first forms while she’s still inside her mother’s womb. ‘Ianna’s’ ego will still be weak at that point in time, so her soul will have no choice but be reborn as well. The great flow of time and the powerful Law of birth will force her to be born again even if she resists.”
And so, Arhad had erased the world’s time, and Ianna had been born again.
……Did this mean that he had to Erase Time until the time of her birth all over again?
But he couldn’t do that. He had no choice but to find another way.
Perhaps he would find one if he visited the Akashic Records, which was also the cradle of souls.
But it would be impossible for Laos and Kandemayon to open the doors to the Akashic Record for him again. Kandemayon was his enemy now, and she had hidden herself from the world, and Laos had yet to appear despite the mess the world was in.
He had tried asking the dragons of the four corners where Laos and Kandemayon were, but they were lesser beings, and they had no way to know what greater beings like Laos and Kandemayon were or what they were up to.
Arhad had been left with no choice but to try breaking open the earth itself so he could go to the Akashic Records. The Akashic Records’ axis was located at the very center of Pandemonium according to Ianna —in other words, Pandemonium was connected to the Akashic Records.
But Pandemonium, which had been an empty space, had collapsed completely ever since that day. It had condensed into the world’s solid core like the pit of a ripened fruit. The world, which was already unstable to begin with, would collapse entirely if he destroyed it.
Arhad had search everywhere for a way to awaken Ianna ever since. But it had been to no avail.
“Ianna.”
His mind was exhausted.
Arhad focused on stopping Taylon, restoring his kingdom, and protecting his people while Ianna was unconscious.
Taylon now possessed Kandemayon’s power, Bahamut’s power, and half of Roygen and Arhad’s power. He ran rampant every day as he tried to destroy Ex-knights and the world.
But Arhad successfully blocked him at every turn.
The past Arhad had been a ‘sword’ much in the same way that Ianna was one. But the Arhad of this life, who was able to love Ianna to his hearts’ content, now wanted to be a ‘shield.’ He wanted to defend the world in which he would live alongside Ianna.
Arhad did everything in his power to defend. He was very strong because he was using his own innate power, which did not belong to any other. He was able to stop Taylon with his power as he focused not on attacking but solely on defending.
But his hands were full. After all, he also had to keep erasing Ianna’s time while also dealing with Taylon.
Perhaps it might be easier if he simply sealed her body away. But she would be cut off from time completely if he did that, and her soul would not be able to return even if it otherwise could. Arhad had no choice but to maintain the status quo.
“What do I do, Ianna?”
Arhad asked, but Ianna did not answer.
“Do I just keep doing as I am now?”
Do I simply need to protect this place, where you’re sleeping, and keep my hold on your life?
“Will you come back to me if I do?”
His sole hope was that Ianna’s sword, ‘Rise,’ had disappeared along with her soul. Ianna had vanished with sword in hand, so Arhad had faith that she would return no matter what. After all, Ianna was undefeatable when she was holding her sword.
“……You always keep your promises.”
Arhad’s breath caught as he spoke. His chest squeezed and made it impossible for him to breathe. He only barely managed to swim back up the surface before he drowned in the sea of his thoughts.
“You said that you’d always stay by my side.”
He caressed her face, but she still showed no signs of moving.
“So, I’ll trust you. I’ll trust that you’ll come back to me no matter what.”
His gaze fell onto the golden Adonis flower.
“I’ll never allow the happiness you spoke of to wither until you do.”
And so, time only continued to flow…….
~~*~~
Shaaaaaa.
Ianna was unconscious.
Swish! Swish!
And yet she was still wielding her sword.
She was trapped inside the world of the Balance where only black and white existed.
Ianna was wielding her sword, but she still did not know.
Who was she? Where was she?
How long had she been here? What was it that she wanted?
Why was she doing this?
She had no idea. She swung her sword because she had to, because she wanted to. Her actions were instinctive and primitive, like how a baby bird broke open its shell to be born into the world.
She was also desperate. She was so desperate even though she didn’t know why.
Rend. I must Rend. I will Rend.
Her soul was her will to Rend in and of itself. Her pure and solid will filled every last nook and cranny of her soul. And so, Ianna ceaselessly sundered the infinite world with no end.
Shaaaaa…….
The world of the Balance shock with every swing of her sword. The tremors only grew stronger as her swings, filled to the brim with her will, continued. The force that the world used to entrap her grew stronger. It was almost as if it was trying to find an equilibrium with her will.
But Ianna’s will, too, grew stronger every time the world got in her way. If the force restraining her grew stronger, then so, too, did she.
Ianna grew sharper the more she was fettered.
She Rent and Rent and Rent.
And she Rent.
And she Rent again.
It was both instantaneous and everlasting.
And her soul was eventually tempered into a single beautiful sword.
Shhhhh…….
Her soul slowly pushed back the world of the Balance’s forces.
And it began manifesting everything that was accumulated inside.
It was the love that Ianna had carried for her sword all her life. The time and effort she had spent training her entire being all so she could grow stronger. It was the knowledge that she had done her utmost to deliberate and research. It was so familiar to her that the skill that dyed her soul.
Hers was the most powerful will in the world.
And everything came together and brought her to the peak. The chains wrapped around her soul stretched until they could no longer exist.
Ianna raised up her sword.
And then she brought it down.
Poooooow!
Her sword strike, which had reached the very peak, stretched out into a straight line and split the world from beginning to end.
Shaaaaa…….
Ianna’s soul was sucked into the rift she had created. The world of the Balance desperately tried to hold her back, but it had no choice but to let her go.
From the very beginning of time, it had always been someone’s will that disrupted equilibrium.
The fundamental Truth, which was the origin of all the truths in the world.
The two-sided Truth that this world consisted of.
Equilibrium and Imbalance.
The scales of the Balance. And that which stood against it.
A Will.
Ianna broke free from the world of the Balance and suddenly found herself at the origin point of the Akashic Records.
But she did not arrive safely in the cradle in which the souls were gathered.
Fweeeee…….
Down and down. She continued to plummet downward.
Ianna was still unconscious even after she had broken free from the world of the Balance, and death hung over her. She plummeted toward the spacetime of retrogress.
Shhhhh!
And eventually, she was drawn into the dimension of retrogress, where only the dead were supposed to go.
Ianna’s soul returned to the most recent time she had experienced.
She despaired as she watched Arhad as he lay dying.
She lost her ability or reason and stood against Bahamut to protect Arhad.
She crawled up from Pandemonium with Arhad on her back.
She destroyed the Demon’s heart.
“I love you, Arhad.”
She confessed her love to Arhad.
“You are always there inside my happiness. And I…I can do anything if it means I can protect my happiness.”
She smiled with all the love inside her heart.
“I feel like I can do anything when I look at this flower. I feel like I can always emerge victorious no matter what hardships I’m going through. That’s why I wish it’ll never wilt.”
She poked her golden petals with her finger.
“Even when things are hard…even when things are truly, truly hard…and despite all the painful memories…as long as you’re alive…and you work hard while dreaming about the future…you’ll attain happiness eventually…and it gives me strength to believe that there is happiness waiting for us at the end of all this hardship.”
She stared at the golden flower.
“I wish this flower would never wilt.”
She stared.
I can do anything. I can be victorious no matter how hard it is. Because I know that my happiness will be there in the end. My happiness will be waiting for me. Arhad, you’ll be waiting for…….
Crack.
She felt time begin to break around the golden Adonis flower. There existed a force that resisted the flow of time and wanted to stop time here. And Ianna, who was still looking at the golden Adonis flower, suddenly wanted to cry inside this distortion of time.
But the flow of retrogress didn’t let her go and continued to drag her into the past. Ianna suddenly did not want to let the flower go. She had been indifferent as time brought her to the past until then, but now her eyes were glistening.
Snatch!
Ianna grabbed the golden Adonis flower fiercely.
And then she was dragged into the past.
The founding of Ex-knights.
The battles she had fought against Bahamut from Roanne.
Her life as a student at the Valgenta Institution.
Her childhood at the Roberstein manor.
“Oh…….”
Ianna slowly began to wake up as she was dragged into the past.
The golden flower in her hand neither wilted nor returned to being a seed. It simple remained suspended as it continued to twist time. And Ianna regained her consciousness thanks to the distortion of time it created.
Eventually, Ianna Ex-knight Rise’s time finished rewinding, and she began to rewind her life as Ianna Roberstein, a duchess of Roanne in her own right, from its very end.
She was killed by Arhad Roygen.
The Ianna of the past had been engrossed in only herself at the time, but the present Ianna focused on Arhad.
Why was it?
His fierce determination, so fierce that he appeared to have stopped breathing entirely, left a deep impression on her.
What was it that he had resolved to do at this point in time?
“This life……is over. But……in the next, I won’t be your enemy……but your……knight……,”
Ianna mumbled like a doll.
“Only now……do I concede my defeat!”
She conceded her defeat at Arhad Roygen’s hands.
Arhad Roygen pierced her heart.
She fought endlessly against Arhad Roygen.
Arhad Roygen came to find her.
She became the Duchess Roberstein.
She slaughtered the Roberstein household.
She was defeated by Arhad Roygen for the very first time.
She met Arhad Roygen for the very first time.
She led a lonely life inside the Roberstein manor.
“…….”
Once she had finished rewinding all of Ianna Roberstein’s life, she then began rewinding Roberstein’s, the God of Judgment, life from the point at which she had killed Roygen during the End.
It was backwards, but she saw Roberstein’s life right before the End, which she had never been able to recollect no matter how hard she tried.
[Your souls will be happy in the world that Laos will create in the future. I don’t know the exact details, but Roygen will be called Ro and you will be called Ann, and I saw the two of you laughing together as you lived. ……But I don’t think you were Roberstein and Roygen, your current selves.]
“Not Roygen and Roberstein, but Ro and Ann…….”
“Roananne……?”
Roberstein looked exhausted as she looked to Phaemdra, and she was holding a white child’s hand. The child was so young that all he could say was, “Mom, Mommy.”
“Please see the future for me, Phaemdra.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
Time wound back a little more.
“Laos, my baby.”
Roberstein was holding a very young Laos in her arms. She could do anything if it was for this child. Laos was smiling happily as he was held in her warm and safe embrace, and standing next to him was a black girl who was watching him like she couldn’t comprehend the absurdity of it all.
“Ahhhh!”
Roberstein gave birth to Laos, who possessed great power, in the Akashic Records. And Kandemayon sprang up from his shadow at the very moment he was born.
“Should I give birth to this child? Or should I not?
“Please take me to the safest place in the world where Roygen will never find me.”
Roberstein was bewildered as she made a request to the Balance, and the Balance brought her to the Akashic records.
Phaemdra dropped a bunch of leaves and then a flower over her stomach. Roberstein learned that she was pregnant.
“…….”
Ianna and Roberstein recovered their lost memories as their time rewound.
Time continued to rewind endlessly.
And eventually, they arrived at the Beginning after a very, very long time.
The life of Ianna Ex-knights Rise, a knight of Ex-knights.
The life of Ianna Roberstein, a duchess of Roanne.
The life of Roberstein, the God of Judgment.
Ianna faced true death now that she had finished rewinding all three lives.
‘I don’t want to die.’
But Ianna didn’t want to die. She would likely be born again if she died, but she would forget everything. She would no longer be Ianna. Ianna pulled herself together and earnestly wished,
‘I want to live.’
She was still holding the golden Adonis flower in her hand.
The golden flower, in all its golden splendor —the single flower that hadn’t wilted even as they returned to the very beginning of the world stayed by Ianna’s side and firmly held her life in place.
I don’t want to forget about all this. I don’t want to be reborn.
I don’t want to die. I want to live. I want to be happy.
I’m going to live happily while loving him.
Her fierce will to live flashed brilliantly.
A long and thin thread spun out from Ianna’s soul as soon as her will was materialized and began to glow. It had always been there, but it had been too thin to see. It pulled Ianna out of the world of retrogress.
Poow!
The spacetime of retrogress ultimately failed to drag Ianna to her death, and her soul was spat out from the world.
“Haah…….”
Ianna was stunned as she looked up. The thin thread that connected her soul to her body in the dimension of progress continued up and up and up.
And surely, there was life at the end of this thread.
But it was so far away. So far that she felt like she’d never reach the end even if she climbed for an eternity.
The Balance ignored the rebel who had broken equilibrium and the Law. It was like it was telling her to use the will with which she had broken free from death to crawl her way back up to life. There was no end to her trials and tribulations.
I’m exhausted. I want to rest…….
Ianna fell limp. Ianna had broken free from the Law, from death, and from equilibrium, and she was holding only a single flower and a single sword as she became a lost child who could not belong anywhere.
Simultaneously…
In a world where quite a lot of time had flowed.
“Meow…….”
A small figure appeared in a dark room. And the cat’s mournful cry resounded. Elly had appeared while holding Nissi.
“…….”
There was no emotion on Elly’s face as she looked to Ianna, who was lying in bed, and put Nissi down. Nissi looked between Ianna and Elly in turns before she meowed again.
“Don’t worry. She’ll wake up.”
Elly placed her thumb over Ianna’s pallid lips. Her breathing was on the brink of stopping.
Elly took a deep breath.
And the girl’s form began to distort.
Elly was very ordinary. She was so ordinary that she barely had a presence.
Like a pebble you tripped on along the road, like the rustling grasses, like the branch you touched if you reached out your hand, like the air you breathed in, like the clouds floating in the sky —she was as comfortable and as relaxed as the sunlight.
It could be said that she melted into the world.
That she was the world itself.
Shaaa…….
A mysterious light wrapped around Elly’s figure as she lost her form.
Nissi stared quietly back at Elly. Her eyes, like clear marbles with the universe inside them, looked at not the girl Elly was on the outside but directly at the soul.
Elly’s soul was shining in all kinds of light.
It was brown like the earth, deep blue like the sea, scarlet like flames, and green like leaves.
It was purple like grapes, pink like a flower, yellow like gold, and black like the dark of night.
The soul gradually grew whiter.
The color born when all colors of light combined into one. The color that could create all colors. The color that could express all colors.
White.
The soul took the form of a girl, of an elder, and of a young man. It was a venomous snake and a crawling insect. It was a savage beast with claws and a grass-eating herbivore. It was a bird soaring through the skies. And the soul, which could not be defined into just one shape, was also a colossal white monster.
“Meow…….”
Nissi stepped back and meowed just as the soul transformed into a completely white boy. His body also took the same form.
“…….”
The white boy took his finger off of Ianna’s lips and took a slightly stronger breath.
He had not been able to locate Ianna’s soul until now —it was like her soul had gone extinct. It wasn’t inside the Akashic Records, the cradle of souls. But, though the connection was very faint and thin, her body had become connected to her soul just now.
The boy had experienced something chilling, like everything in the world had suddenly been disconnected, mere moments ago. The absoluteness of equilibrium had been split apart, even if only for a moment, just like when Ianna had Rent the Balance and the Law to restore Arhad’s heart a long time ago. The boy was one of the two axes upholding equilibrium, so he had felt the resulting shockwave.
That was why he had come here, to this place that Arhad was so adamantly defending.
“So you’ve defeated even the Balance in the end,”
mumbled the boy —Laos. He continued,
“I’m sorry.”
He was somewhere else as he said that. Ianna’s soul, which was closing her eyes in her exhaustion, was beside him.
“…….”
Ianna, who felt a special existence appear alongside her in this space where only she had existed, opened her eyes. She looked up and found a white colored boy. He was the god whom she had so long waited for, whom she had desperately wanted to meet.
Ianna’s soul had broken providence and existed outside the norm, so she could both think and act.
Which was how she was able to fumble over her words and call his name.
“Laos.”
“Yes?”
Laos lowered his eyes as he replied. He continued,
“Hello, Ianna.”
“Yeah. Hi.”
Her greeting was rather simple for someone who had been waiting for so long. She continued,
“I’ve always wanted to meet you.”
“I know.”
“You’re Elly. Aren’t you?”
Laos opened his eyes wide for a moment, but he quickly settled back into resignation.
“Yes. That was the name I used as I stayed by your side.”
“I don’t understand you.”
“I’m sure you don’t.”
Why had Laos done all that he had after the End? What had he felt as he lived his eternally long life? Why had he appeared before her as Elly instead of like this? Laos continued,
“I’m so sorry, Ianna.”
These were all things that Ianna could never know unless Laos told her.
“I’ve hurt you so much because of my vexing stubbornness and foolish regrets, and I absolutely don’t want to hurt you anymore. So I’m hoping you’ll just ignore my existence from now on.”
He refused to explain his apology.
“I’m hoping that everything will happen as you wish. Please live your life as you always have —you have the power to do so.”
He reached out toward Ianna’s soul.
“I’ll help you return to your life. It won’t cost me much to help you because the Balance’s influence weakened temporarily when you cut it. Please take my hand.”
But Ianna did not take Laos’ hand.
“You’ve already meddled deeply with my life, and I’ve already acknowledged your existence. I can’t resolve the riddle that is my life perfectly without you. So, how am I supposed to just ignore you?”
Laos clenched his fists tight, and Ianna stared openly back at him. She continued,
“I don’t want your apology. I want an explanation. You want me to live as I wish, right? Then, answer me. Right now.”
Ianna pulled her exhausted consciousness together. She continued,
“You’re Roberstein’s kid, aren’t you?”
“……Yes.”
Laos flinched, but he acknowledged it meekly all the same. He continued,
“How did you know?”
“I’ve suspected it for quite some time.”
“I see.”
“And I also recovered all of Roberstein’s forgotten memories about you in the world of retrogress, the bottom half of the Akashic Records.”
Laos looked rather shaken when he heard that and stepped back from Ianna.
“You recovered those memories?”
“Yeah. I’m sure you can tell me why I couldn’t remember them in the first place.”
Ianna’s soul straightened herself out and grabbed Laos by the wrist before he could go farther away. She continued,
“Explain it to me. If you truly want me to live as I wish, that is.”
Laos fell silent for a long while. But he eventually opened his mouth as Ianna continued to wait.
“……During the End of the Holy Age…”
There was a tremble in his voice. He continued,
“My mother told me that an age was ending as she sealed me away. She told me that Paradise would collapse and return to being chaos, and she told me that I would bring about a new morning on the blank canvass of nothingness. She remained stubborn even when I cried about not wanting to and tried to hold her back, and she asked me to create an amazing world before she left.”
But shortly afterward, Kandemayon, whom I was holding as I was sealed away, broke the seal, and I ran to where I could feel my mother’s aura.
Everything was already over by then.
“My mother’s heart was crumbling apart before my very eyes, and her soul was fading away. I knew as soon as I saw her. My mother’s soul was beyond exhausted, and it was highly likely that it would go extinct as soon as it reached the Akashic Records.”
I was terrified when I predicted my mother’s true death. And I grew greedy despite everything she had asked of me. I didn’t want her to die. I wished that she would resurrect as Roberstein live with me again, so matter how long it took.
“I sealed my mother’s heart away inside Pandemonium, and then I took her soul and shoved it inside a new life that had been born in accordance to the Law so that she couldn’t die. But my mother’s soul, which had I forced inside another being, clashed heavily with the newborn soul that was already there.”
Her soul was shredded as it clashed against the pure new soul, and countless of her emotions and memories were flung out into the world. I couldn’t stop it from happening.
“As soon as her soul finally settled into the new life’s body, I created the Lotso Mountains on top of the collapsing world to protect the small hill that was practically her grave. Then, I had the progenitor of the Roberstein Clan protect that land. After all that, I collected the shards of my mother’s sword, which had scattered all over the world, while crying.”
Her memories and emotions clung to the shards of her sword, which were flowing with her aura. I was able to see my mother’s memories and feel her emotions as I collected the shards one by one.
“I was young at the time, and I both understood and couldn’t understand my mother’s life. But I also saw the memories pertaining to just how much she loved me and cherished me. They consoled me greatly.”
I wasn’t able to collect the fragments of the Demon’s —my father’s— soul. Not only could I not even touch them because they were too dreadful, but they also strongly refused to let me collect them even though he was unconscious. He had been despised by the gods his whole life, and, though his fragments were perfectly content to control others, they fiercely dreaded the very idea of being controlled by another.
“A long time passed, and I was able to collect all the shards of my mother’s sword, except for the one in the South which I left behind because a terrifying fragment of the Demon’s soul was lingering around it.”
But instead of giving my mother’s memories and emotions back to her soul, I decided instead to put them inside one shard and kept it in my arms. Not only was I unable to return them to her soul because the progenitor’s repulsion to them was too strong, but I also needed something to drive me to keep on living.
“Then, I began to create the world, just as my mother had wished. But my mother had never told me exactly what I needed to do, and I couldn’t remember Phaemdra’s prophecy too well because I was too young when I heard it, so I had to think for myself as I created the world.
I violated the Law and created a great woman named ‘Roanne,’ the only thing I remembered about the prophecy. I knew that someone named Roanne had existed in Phaemdra’s prophecy, and I vaguely remembered that the world in which this Roanne existed would be a happy one.
I was foolish, so I thought that Roanne must be someone as great and amazing as my mother was. That was why I devoted my heart and soul into creating her, and then the balance……dictated that Bahamut must be born too.
“I was really foolish. My assumptions had been wrong from the very beginning.”
Laos paused briefly and mocked himself before he continued,
“Then, I begged Kandemayon and created the four ‘dragons,’ who took after us. Kandemayon and I alone were not strong enough to prevent the world from collapsing.”
I brought the dragons and the spirits with me as I stabilized the world, crafted a new world from new nature, and called new life into being. A long time passed by, and I, who matured as I created the world, became an adult just as the world had finally stabilized.
“But I often became a child again because I was still thinking only about my mother. It was hard to breathe because I missed her so much.”
I couldn’t endure my sadness once I had finished what I needed to do. I wanted to just forget about everything and leave.
That was why I left it to Roanne to guard the order of the world. And I gave the Roberstein Clan, which loved Roanne and followed her, the shard of my mother’s soul.
The progenitor was able to use my mother’s heart, which was connected to Phaemdra’s vines, and my mother’s soul dwelling in his blood to cover Roanne, who was practically my other self, in a powerful protection through the shard. My mother still loved me, and she still wanted to protect everything that I am, you see.
The progenitor accepted the shard of her sword to protect Roanne, and, before I left, I took measures to ensure that her memories and emotions would transfer from the shard back to her as soon as she was reborn.
“But I couldn’t bear to let go of the memories and emotions that pertained to me, so I kept them to myself. They were my treasure. I had planned to cherish them and return them to my mother later after she was reborn.”
After that, I lived countless lives of different creatures for fun as I waited only for the day that my mother reawakened.
But time is surprisingly strong.
I began to mature, for real this time, as I broke free from the heavy mission my mother entrusted to me and began to live my own life. I slowly broke free from my obsession over my mother too, and I regretted my foolish choice to prevent my mother from resting in peace in the distant past.
But that fact that I still wanted to see her again never changed. I couldn’t bear to undo my seal and guide her to death because of my old lingering regrets. I hated myself for not being able to do anything and being lost in thought, and it hurt so much, so I readily went to Kandemayon and fell into a deep slumber while looking at my mother’s grave. And so, time continued and continued to flow…….
Until at long last, Arhad was born.
The seal on Lebony, which I didn’t even know had existed until then, was also released, and Lebony was thrust out into the world.
And then, you were born, Ianna.
“I’m sorry.”
That was where Laos’ story ended. He continued,
“The reason why you couldn’t obtain any memories of the second half of the Holy Age was because I still have my mother’s memories.”
“Why didn’t you return them?”
“I didn’t want you to know who I was,”
Laos mumbled in his guilt. He continued,
“I watched over your first life quietly. And I realized that you were solely ‘Ianna’ —you could never become my mother. You were living your own life. I was the Creator of this world by then, and I wasn’t a young child anymore.”
Laos missed his mother, but he also respected Ianna’s life.
So when he was forced to choose one over the other…
He had ultimately chosen Ianna.
“I wanted to help you in your second life, but I couldn’t do anything because everything was already disjointed. I tried to extinguish my mother’s heart, but I couldn’t do anything to it because her will was too powerful. Moreover, I’m subordinated to equilibrium, so you would’ve been harmed too if I tried to do anything to help. That’s why I made the worst choice possible and kept quiet —because I thought it would be better if I didn’t do anything at all.”
No —the truth was that I was actually really scared.
I was scared that I might end up committing the sin of ruining your life until the bitter end.
That my lingering attachment to my mother might make me an obstacle to you.
“And you overcame all your trials on your own, just as I knew you would.”
Laos was trembling. He continued,
“Everything became a mess every time I tried to do anything. I always ended up hurting you. My mother loved me too much, and I didn’t want you to be bewildered by my presence when you were already doing so well on your own, when you were already blossoming into a new love. That’s why I didn’t want you to remember me. I just wanted to quietly help you find happiness as Elly. But you ended up suffering because I hid all this from you, and in the end…….”
Laos, who had half fallen into a state of panic as he rambled, stopped talking and froze up. Ianna had gone up to him and had pulled him into a tight hug.
“Laos.”
And from her lips, he heard the voice that he had eternally yearned to hear.
“……!”
The voice, which seemed to resonate all throughout Laos’ soul, was most definitely not Ianna’s. It was a voice that his ears knew and had never forgotten no matter how many countless times the sun and moon had risen and fallen.
The shape of Ianna’s soul looked different too. It still looked sturdy, but now it was dry and cracked like the unstable lands after a drought. Laos stared earnestly into her dry face, so dry that it seemed to be waiting only for a single drop of smile.
Laos had missed her so endlessly.
Roberstein whispered,
“Laos, my baby.”
Roberstein, who had withdrawn deeply into herself after Roygen had gone extinct, had reawakened after reexperiencing the second half of the Holy Age in the world of retrogress. She had calmly organized the explosion of her thoughts while Ianna was unconscious due to exhaustion.
And then, Laos had appeared and had told Ianna his story. Roberstein, who had finished organizing her thoughts as she listened along, had hinted that she wanted to speak with him, and Ianna had readily handed her the reins.
And so, Roberstein and Laos —mother and son— had been able to cross over eons and reunite.
“Laos.”
The beloved name that she had forgotten.
“Laos.”
Roberstein repeated Laos’ name as if to declare that she would never forget it again. And she pulled Laos’ soul deeper into her embrace.
Laos quivered as he pushed Roberstein away. His soul reflected a terrified white light.
“I’m so sorry,”
Laos abruptly apologized, and, in her inability to understand, Roberstein quietly asked him,
“For what?”
“I stopped you from dying even though you wanted it so badly. I ruined everything in my immature desire to see you again. I made everyone suffer.”
The wind began to blow.
They were undoubtedly inside the infinity that was the Akashic Records. But they had escaped at some point and were now on the hill where Phaemdra’s old trunk was. The very place where Roberstein and Laos had parted ways.
“I don’t even know if the world I created was the future that you wanted, Mom.”
The sky was grey, and the earth was in chaos. Laos continued,
“I think it’s all my fault.”
He thought that Roberstein would rebuke him because the world had been so completely upturned. Roberstein looked at Laos, who couldn’t look her in the eyes due to guilt, before she turned to the dim glow by their feet.
“The wildflowers have blossomed.”
The small white flowers had stubbornly blossomed despite the chaos in the world. They were blooming boldly, as if to declare that they would not wilt no matter what trials and tribulations came their way. Roberstein continued,
“I saw the world that you created through Ianna’s memories while I was organizing my thoughts earlier.”
It was a world where life and death cycled naturally. An honest world where good and evil co-existed and all kinds of emotions fluctuated. A dynamic age where hope existed within despair and joy existed within sorrow.
“No one can predict the future for certain. Not even Phaemdra. The prophecy that Phaemdra gave me was like a fragmented riddle. So I can’t say whether the world you created is right, wrong, enough, or lacking.”
Roberstein took Laos’ hands in hers.
“But I quite like this living, breathing world.”
Laos, who had been hanging his head, slowly looked up at Roberstein. There was a faint smile on Roberstein’s face, like she was sorry, proud, and hurting. Like she was grateful, distressed, and filled with love —all kinds of emotions filled her smile.
“It’s an amazing world. Thank you.”
Laos’ eyes welled with tears. Am I doing well? Is this the world that Mom wanted? His anxiety and restlessness had kept him awake at night for millennia. And today, at long last, he finally got to hear the simple words that he had always longed to hear. His nose started burning, and his throat felt dry.
“You suffered a lot because of my dying wish.”
“Mom…”
“Laos, I’m the one who should be apologizing to you.”
Roberstein slowly pulled him inside her arms again. She continued,
“I wasn’t in my right mind back then because I was hurting so much. I made a slip in judgment because of the future that Phaemdra foresaw and because of your great power, and I did something to you that was cruel and irresponsible. I should have held tight to my will to live and worked my hardest to resolve everything until the bitter end instead of resigning myself to fate and placing such a heavy burden on your shoulders. I should have done everything in my power to overcome that trial, and I should have protected you as your mother. I’ve failed as a parent. I hurt you because I was lacking. I’m sorry…….”
Laos’ hands trembled from within Roberstein’s.
“No. I know that you were hurting a lot, Mom.”
Laos shook his head and wrapped his arms tightly around Roberstein’s neck. He continued,
“The mission you were given was way too heavy for any one being to shoulder alone. It doesn’t matter how strong you were —it was the world’s fault for giving the mission to mediate between everything to just one being and tying your hands so you couldn’t do anything. I understood why you had to do what you did and how you were feeling.”
Roberstein was ashamed as Laos comforted her and told her that not everything was her fault. Just how much had her child pondered over this to be able to say this and comfort her when she, his parent, had practically committed suicide right before his very eyes? And how much had her child been rotting away inside as he forced her life to stay in his reach just because he missed her?
“I know this will only sound like I’m making excuses, but I wanted you to forget about me and live happily in the new world. I left Lebony, that kindhearted child who used to look after you, behind so she could be your friend because I couldn’t trust that rascal Kandemayon, but I see that things have taken a turn for the strange.”
Roberstein had sealed Lebony inside a cave so sturdy that it would surely survive even as the world collapsed around it, and she had taken measures to ensure that the seal would be released after her death. But Lebony had been locked inside a seal within a seal when Laos had sealed Roberstein away.
Lebony had only been freed because Laos’ seal had been greatly shaken when Arhad was born, and Roberstein’s will had manifested and shattered it completely when she sensed that the Demon was alive. Laos had only been made aware of Lebony’s existence after she was freed.
“I need to apologize to Lebony too. I’ve done something terrible to that child. It hurt my heart to watch her lamenting in Ianna’s memories. I’d like to apologize to her if I ever see her again.”
“Mom, Lebony’s…”
Laos was about to say something, but then he felt the being that was connected to him resist him fiercely and closed his mouth. Their connected thoughts and emotions were daunting. So instead, Laos quietly mumbled,
“She doesn’t resent you. She did hate you at some point, but only briefly. Well, she says that she only hated you very briefly.”
“That child was devoted to me and she always supported me. But I never had the right to receive her affections.”
Roberstein closed her eyes. She continued,
“If only…”
If only I could live again and have an ordinary life where I’m not fettered to anything —no, even if I was fettered.
“I think I would’ve been able to live well in this world. I would’ve been able to be happy with you, my precious baby.”
But Roberstein was only grumbling. She had already resigned herself —there was no trace of anticipation in her words, and Laos understood this.
“But our lives are over. This world isn’t ours.”
“Yes.”
Laos’ eyes were filled with tears as he hugged Roberstein tight. His translucent tears, falling one after another, were dyed with his festered shame and painful sorrow. Laos let his tears wash away even his regrets. He continued,
“I’m sorry. I made you and Dad sad because I was greedy and wanted to see you again.”
“I’m not blaming you, Laos. You did better than I could have ever hoped. It’s thanks to you that we were able to end our lives of love and hatred with regret instead of misunderstanding,”
Roberstein said as she squeezed Laos tight. She continued,
“I’d like you thank you yet again.”
Laos closed his eyes as he sensed the coming farewell. He settled his heart in Roberstein’s arms, which he had missed so much. Mother and son continued to hold each other for a very long time.
“How surprising.”
Roberstein and Laos turned toward the forest.
Kandemayon, who had taken the form of a girl, was standing in the darkness with no emotion on her face.
The shape of Roberstein’s soul immediately transformed back into Ianna.
“Ianna Ex-knights Rise.”
Kandemayon called her name clearly. She continued,
“It was only for but a moment, but you crushed the Balance not once but twice. You’re remarkable. I’m truly in awe.”
“…….”
“Love is incredible indeed. One beat back the hatred he had accumulated over millennia, and the other destroyed even the Balance itself.”
The bitch who had betrayed them and taken Bahamut’s side was babbling some annoyingly emotional words. But why was it that Ianna didn’t hate her like crazy?
“Explain to me why you took Bahamut’s side,”
Ianna said coldly, prompting Kandemayon to shrug.
“In order to maintain equilibrium. It’s why equilibrium has more or less returned. The Balance has acknowledged an equilibrium between the Bahamut lineage, to whom I granted my power, and you, who inherited Roberstein’s power.”
“Why aren’t you mentioning Arhad?”
“Because he’s become sort of a neutral existence between you and Bahamut. Originally, he was a heavy weight that tipped the scales greatly to one side, and the Balance sought to find equilibrium by having him die and disappear.”
Ianna recalled how the Balance had refused to save Arhad and furrowed her brows. Kandemayon continued,
“But he’s essentially been split into two because Taylon possesses half of his soul and shares his heart now too. Thus, the Balance decided that his existence no longer defies equilibrium. The final stage for our ‘bet’ will be complete once you make just one more decision. And I will adhere to ‘your will’ regarding it.”
“Your bet? What bet?”
“Laos and I made a certain bet long ago. A bet that asks……how will the world flow after Laos’ greatest wish comes true? —that is, after a certain god’s soul awakens and the Demon’s heart is freed.”
The world’s equilibrium would be greatly shaken at that moment, and it was highly likely that the current of the world would flow toward one direction.
The dragons, who had been forcefully maintaining equilibrium through their barriers, would be freed.
They were the apostles whom Laos had created in order to prevent the world from collapsing. They had been born from Laos and received divine power from him, and so they were subordinated to him.
But their mission had a time limit. And they would be freed once the Demon’s heart broke free from the restraints of a certain god’s sword.
The dragons had lived restricted lives because they continued to receive divine power from Laos and because they had inherited deadened hearts from Kandemayon, but they would be freed, and they would be able to focus on their own lives like any other living creature.
Thus, the dragons had been freed from their roles as apostles and had joined the food chain as living beings.
The dragons, who had inherited their immense strength from their creators, possessed the trait of ‘neutrality.’ And now, they would live freely as uniquely independent beings as long as they didn’t do anything that wouldn’t disturb the world’s equilibrium too greatly.
This was why the dragons could not voluntarily interfere in the struggle to control the world’s equilibrium. After the Cataclysm, the future had become the burden of everything else that lived in the world. And the world would either prosper or be destroyed depending on their choices.
“I stated that greed, the most primitive desire of all life, and the black will would cause the world to regress and ultimately collapse once more, just like it did during the Holy Age. And Laos stated that altruism, the rationale that holds back greed, and the white will would cause the world to progress forward and be prosperous.”
Black was close to death, and white was close to all that was life. It was impossible to determine which was superior unless you watched everything until the very end because so many different and unique beings lived in this complicated world.
And so, they had decided to watch and see what happened.
That was their bet.
“Why did you make such a bet?”
“Kandemayon and I were always arguing over this matter. I hated hearing Kan be so pessimistic all the time, so I proposed the bet to see who was right,”
muttered Laos, who had pulled away from Ianna, quietly.
“And I naturally accepted. It’s the small pleasures that make it possible for us to live our boring and endless lives.”
The bet between the two immortal beings was both simple and extraordinary.
“And what did you mean when you said that you’d adhere to my will in completing the final stage?”
“Will you or won’t you destroy Roberstein’s heart?”
Kandemayon pointed to Phaemdra’s trunk and continued,
“You inherited Roberstein’s heart, which makes you a ‘vestige of the Holy Age’ just like ‘Laos’ and thereby also makes you ‘immortal.’ But that is very unfair. If you will not destroy Roberstein’s heart, then I, ‘Kandemayon,’ will empower Bahamut even more and grant them the ‘trait of immortality.’”
“…….”
“If you choose to destroy Roberstein’s heart, however, I will stop interfering in this battle entirely —presuming that Laos will also stop meddling, that is.”
“There’s something I’d like to ask before I answer.”
Ianna looked directly back at Kandemayon and asked,
“Who are you, and why are you so obsessed about maintaining equilibrium?”
There had been next to no information about Kandemayon in Roberstein’s memories and knowledge that Ianna had obtained in the spacetime of retrogress.
According to Roberstein’s memories, Kandemayon had sprung out from Laos’ shadow as he was born. She was neither god nor demon, and she was some kind of being that existed as a soul without a heart just like the world tree and the spirits.
Kandemayon had not told Roberstein what she was in the past. Would she tell Ianna now?
“Do you know what the origin of all the Truth in the world is?”
Kandemayon returned another question in the lieu of an answer.
“It’s the conflict between the ‘Balance’ and ‘Wills.’”
Ianna was able to reply readily because she had learned something as she shattered equilibrium.
“That’s correct. The Balance seeks equilibrium and to maintain the status quo, whereas Wills seek imbalance and change —and thus, they clash. The Balance is passive and never makes the first move. It simply maintains equilibrium by adding another law or restriction whenever a Will enacts a change. Every Truth in the world is born this way.”
It created death because life was born from a Will, it created the spacetime of retrogress in response to the world of progress, and it created the physical in response to the astral.
“The Balance maintains the world’s equilibrium between ‘the potential of all things,’ which is finite but can become anything, and ‘the concept of nihility,’ which is infinite but cannot become anything. The potential of all things is a special kind of power that creates divine power, which is another name for Vigor, and the mother all auras —the ‘Original Energy.’ Show her, Laos.”
Laos raised his right hand in front of Ianna. A pure-white energy condensed in his palm like a marble, and Ianna could feel that the amount of divine power inside it increasing.
“Original Energy is no different from Vigor, save for its ability to produce Vigor and the fact that it can never be extinguished. It’s impossible to differentiate it from Vigor. Have you ever heard about ‘living particles’ that can produce divine power?”
Ianna recalled what the spirits had told her about the creation of the world several years ago.
[There are two types of particles —living particles that can produce divine power, and dead particles that can’t produce divine power.]
[We don’t know how we differentiated all of these when we created them. We can create dead particles at the moment, but how we created living ones is still a mystery to us. Both dead and living particles are composed of the same parts, so we don’t know what it is that differentiates them…… We’ve tried making living particles many times over, but we could only manage to create dead ones. That guy Laos seemed to have known, but he would only chuckle to himself. Hmph. Anyway…]
Laos continued explaining once Ianna nodded.
“The Balance wanted to create something to counterbalance souls, so it created the spirits as a result, and the Balance guided the spirits to use the power inside chaos to produce particles while they were still unconscious. The Original Energy became living particles, and normal Vigor became dead particles.”
Laos created an identical marble in his left hand. It looked exactly the same as the one in his right hand, but the amount of divine power inside it did not increase.
“Fragments of chaos are combined clumps of these two kinds of particles.”
This was something that the spirits had told Ianna. They had told her that chaos fragments with a higher ratio of living particles could produce more divine power. But Laos’ and Kandemayon’s tale burrowed deeper still. Laos continued,
“Original Energy is one of the two giant scales that comprise the Balance, and the Balance uses ‘the amount of Original Energy one has’ when determining someone’s strength. Accordingly, the Balance decides that someone with a lot of living particles is strong and imposes a great mission that has something to do with equilibrium upon them. They obtain the ability to produce a lot of divine power, but in return, they are bound tightly to the Balance and are half forced into maintaining the equilibrium that the Balance seeks.”
This was the reason why the Balance had forced the duty of mediation upon Roberstein. In other words, Roberstein had been able to borrow the Balance’s power of Judgment because she had accepted her mission and had been bound to the Balance.
“Have you also heard that a god’s fragment of chaos will shatter and go extinct when they die?”
“Yeah.”
“A god’s fragment of chaos doesn’t actually go extinct on the spot —it’s actually pulled into the Akashic Records because if its Original Energy. It only looks like it’s disappearing.”
A fragment of chaos that entered the Akashic Records cycled back to the very beginning through the spacetime of retrogress. Then, the fragment was separated into living particles and dead particles, and the particles returned to being Vigor and Original Energy.
The Vigor that had been produced by the Original Energy was extinguished at the ‘Genesis,’ the very end of the spacetime of retrogress, and the Original Energy, which had existed before time itself, was not extinguished but instead flung back out into the center of the Akashic Records.
In other words, Original Energy transcended birth and extinction, and time and space, and always remained a constant that neither increased nor decreased.
“When a mother became pregnant in the world of progress, a fixed amount of Original Energy and a new soul was transferred into her body. There, the Original Energy became more living particles and turned into the chaos fragment of a newborn god. ……This is how gods were normally born.”
“But Laos is special because he was born in the center of the Akashic Records.”
Roberstein, who had been pregnant with Laos, had gone to the Akashic Records in order to avoid Roygen.
Roygen had wantonly murdered every other god on the earth until he was all alone, and the fragments of chaos the gods had possessed had returned to being Original Energy through the process of retrogress and had collected inside the origin point of the Akashic Records. There had been no births, and only death had existed in that era of destruction, so there had been a tremendous amount of Original Energy inside the Akashic Records.
And so, something extraordinary had happened inside Roberstein’s womb as she gave birth.
The perfectly balanced union between the greatest god and the lowliest Demon, the genes that had been inherited from the two most powerful beings in the world, and the greatest concentration of Original Energy that had ever exited…….
All the Original Energy inside the Akashic Records had moved toward the fetus inside Roberstein’s womb. All the Original Energy in the world, including Roberstein’s, had existed in just one body.
The Akashic Records was the Library of Truth and the place from where all souls were distributed. The new soul inside Roberstein’s womb stood at the boundary between consciousness and unconsciousness as it absorbed all the knowledge and history of the world from the Akashic Records before it was even born.
And so, a special god named Laos had been born.
Laos could freely use Original Energy, which was one of the Balance’s two scales. He could also create every Truth in the world. He was ‘the potential of all things’ in and of itself.
The Balance weighed two different options by which it could counterbalance the great existence known as Laos.
One, was the impose the powerful mission of mediation upon him and restrict his every action, just like Roberstein. The other, was to manifest his perfect opposite, ‘the concept of nihility,’ and counterbalance him.
“The Balance is the world’s device for maintaining equilibrium in all manner of ways. It is both fixed and fluid, and if it determines that it is difficult to maintain equilibrium with one method, then it will select another.”
The Balance had recorded how Roberstein had once nearly abandoned her life’s mission to mediate because of her ‘Will’ called love. Souls were unstable because they had wills. It was dangerous to entrust everything to just one soul.
And so, the Balance had chosen the latter over the former.
“I believe I can finally tell you who I am……. You asked me who I was and why I’m so obsessed about maintaining equilibrium, correct?”
Kandemayon took a step closer. She continued,
“I am Laos’ Shadow.”
The ground where her bare feet touched scattered into darkness.
“I am the nihility that was made manifest in order to counterbalance his existence. The Chaos that exists because of the Law. I am a mortal that is destined to die if Laos dies, and I am an immortal that can never die unless Laos dies first.”
Everything vanished beneath Kandemayon’s footsteps, as if it had never existed in the first place.
“I was born as the Balance’s other scale, and I exist to counterbalance the Imbalance that arises out of Laos’ actions.”
Apathetically, Kandemayon muttered,
“Laos tipped the Balance greatly to one side because he got himself involved in all sorts of things as he created the world. The Balance tipped drastically because he kept Roberstein, a great element of equilibrium, alive when she was supposed to die and because he went out of his way to create Roanne. And thus, I had no choice but to step forward and counterbalance his actions.”
Laos lowered his head in shame. Ianna turned to Laos, who looked so sorry that he didn’t know what to do with himself, and asked,
“So it’s not that you maintain the world’s equilibrium, but that you counterbalance any Imbalance that Laos creates?”
“Correct.”
Laos had saved Roberstein, the strongest being from the Holy Age who possessed the most Original Energy, so Kandemayon had saved Roygen, the weakest being from the Holy Age who possessed no Original Energy at all.
Laos had created Roanne and granted her his power, so Kandemayon had created Bahamut and granted him her power.
“My standard is not the amount of Original Energy anyone has, but ‘Laos’ himself. When I counterbalance his actions, the Balance records that as ‘equilibrium.’ And the Balance imposes a powerful force in order to maintain that equilibrium.”
If Roberstein, Roanne, and Ianna.
Then Roygen, Bahamut, and Arhad.
This was the equilibrium that Kandemayon had determined.
The scales had seemed like they would tip when Arhad eliminated Roygen and switched sides, so the Kandemayon had tried to kill him and fill the vacancies with Taylon of Bahamut and herself instead.
“But you Rent the Balance, even if only for but a moment, rendered both equilibrium and the Truth powerless, and saved Arhad. It’s usually impossible for equilibrium to be defied because it becomes the providence of the world once it has been determined, but there are occasionally special variables like you who defy providence itself with their ‘Will’ and disrupt equilibrium. Truthfully speaking, the Balance changed courses and decided to leave Arhad alone because you were powerful enough to destroy it. The Balance is both fixed and fluid, like I said previously.”
Kandemayon chuckled quietly. She continued,
“In any event, Roberstein, the last vestige of the Holy Age, is the final Imbalance that I must deal with. Both Laos and I will stop interfering in this battle should you choose to destroy her heart. But I will empower Bahamut even more should you decide to keep using it. Do you understand now?”
This was something that not even Roberstein, who could borrow the Balance’s power, had known about. No —who could possible know about this other than Laos and Kandemayon, who were the two scales of the Balance?
“There’s still something about your bet that I don’t quite understand. If the world leaves its state of equilibrium and expands or collapses, then doesn’t that mean that equilibrium has been destroyed? Doesn’t the Balance force equilibrium to be maintained?”
“You’ve misunderstood. Spacetime expands and collapses because of the ‘Wills’ of living souls. The Balance cannot be involved in this. Instead, it counterbalances the dimension of progress with the space of the dimension of retrogress, which is symmetrical to the dimension of progress, in the shape of ∞. If the world retracts and collapses, the so too does the world of retrogress, and if the world expands and extends, then so too does world of retrogress —and thus, their respective weights are counterbalanced. If you have more questions, then ask away.”
“What will happen to equilibrium if I kill Bahamut?”
This was the important question. Ianna continued,
“If Bahamut is the element that counterbalances Roanne, then will you create another being similar to Bahamut in order to maintain equilibrium?”
“Bahamut was born as the price for me creating Roanne —and that’s it. Kandemayon has no reason to voluntarily create more beings like Bahamut so long as I stop making contracts with the Roanne lineage after Bahamut’s demise,”
Laos answered in Kandemayon’s stead. He continued,
“And I don’t intend to forge any more contracts with the Roanne lineage. Nor will I create anything new. Then, all life will be born in accordance to the existing providence —influenced by the karma of their previous incarnations and genetics, but otherwise at random.”
“Then what about the Imbalance created because of me and Arhad?”
“That’s the interesting part. Once the elements of equilibrium called Roberstein and Roygen, and Roanne and Bahamut, disappear and only the two of you remain, then equilibrium will be maintained regardless of whether you’re together or apart,”
Kandemayon replied. After all, equilibrium would be maintained regardless of whether two weights were both exactly in the middle between the scales or each standing at opposite ends.
“What happens to Roberstein’s Original Energy after her heart is destroyed? Is it possible that someone might be born with it later?”
“That will not happen. The original gods possessed Original Energy because it was the ‘Genesis,’ and new gods that were born from their mothers possessed Original Energy because of ‘the law of genetics.’ But current lifeforms are designed to not be able to be born with living particles. And…….”
Kandemayon turned to Laos, and Laos nodded back.
“I’m having all the aura inside my heart flow inside the world of the Balance —the ‘Balance’s plane.’ The Balance’s plane is dimensionally one level higher than the Akashic Records, and it can be called a device that overlays the entire world and maintains equilibrium. Do you remember what the Balance’s plane looks like?”
“Somewhat. I think it was a mixture of black and white.”
“More or less. The colors of every existence in the world mix together to make white, and the vacuum of nihility probably looks black. My heart is flowing there alongside the white parts.”
“So you haven’t been there yourself.”
“You can get to the entrance of the Balance’s plane from the heart of the Akashic Records, just like how you can reach the entrance to the Akashic Records from the heart of Pandemonium. But not only it is difficult to get there, but the Balance determines that anything inside the Balance’s plane is a ‘foreign object that falls outside the status quo’ and traps it there until it decides to go extinct on its own. The same would probably hold true for ‘my soul,’ which isn’t ‘my heart that is made from Original Energy.’ That’s why I’m only able to send my heart there even though I was originally a part of the Balance. This is also why I couldn’t go to pick up your soul even though I had a hunch that it might be there. I am bound to the Balance, and I’m not strong enough to defy it.”
“Didn’t you say that your heart was there? Are you all right even when you’ve been separated from your heart?”
“I’m not separated from my heart. Leaving my heart inside the Balance’s plane is no different from having my heart exist everywhere in the world at once.”
Laos poured the Vigor produced by his heart into the Akashic Records and used it to recycle souls and cause birth to happen. This was why newborn babies possessed faintly white divine power. Some of it was also pushed outside into spacetime and became the divine power of nature. Laos’ Vigor was the foundation of the world.
“If my mother’s heart returns to being Original Energy, then I will collect it and send it to the world of the Balance. Then, all of the Original Energy in the world will be pooled in the Balance’s plane, and I’ll enact a new Law so that it can never come back out again.”
“Then, the Balance will no longer be able to artificially imbue people with the mission to maintain equilibrium like with Roberstein or us, since no more life will ever be able to possess Original Energy ever again. Nor will we have any reason to get involved in the world again so long as no more existences that fall outside the status quo like you come into being and oppose the Balance. Any other questions?”
Ianna grasped the Truth of the World as she listened to what Laos and Kandemayon had to say. It wasn’t exaggeration to say that there was nothing about the Truth that she no longer knew.
“What will you two do once the battle is over?”
Now, Ianna was curious about the plans of these two great beings.
“I’m going to stay as uninvolved with the world as I can. I’m going to entrust the future of the world to those who live in it. After all, the future is something that is created by everyone, not just one or two special people.”
“I was born to counterbalance not the ‘world’ but ‘Laos’ specifically. I have no duty to counterbalance the world. I’ve already had Laos pay the price for his actions, so I have no reason to take action so long as Laos doesn’t do anything to greatly disturb equilibrium and lives quietly in accordance to the Law.”
“And what were the considerations for your bet?”
“We promised to grant each other’s wishes so long as it was possible. Foolish little Laos hasn’t been able to decide on his wish yet, but my wish is for him to die if I win.”
Kandemayon’s voice was calm, but the contents of her words were rather extreme.
“Why?”
“So that I may find my identity, because I am a contradictory being that is nihility itself yet cannot cease to exist.”
“…….”
This was something that Ianna could not comprehend as a living being, but it made sense from Kandemayon’s perspective. Ianna had sharp senses, however, and she grew suspicious about the flatness of Kandemayon’s tone. Should she say that it almost felt like Kandemayon had other intentions?
“Are you done with your questions? Then, decide. What will you do?”
Ianna didn’t know how long she had spent in the Balance’s plane, but she knew for certain, now that she had destroyed the Balance and escaped so that she could return to Arhad, that she was stronger than Roberstein.
Ianna asked Roberstein,
“What do you want to do?”
And Roberstein replied,
“I want you to become complete.”
As ever, Roberstein demanded her own death. She continued,
“My life is bound to the Balance, as Kandemayon explained, and I neither have the power to beat back equilibrium nor the will to keep living without Roygen in an age that isn’t even mine. But you are someone who has destroyed the Balance, which makes you incompatible with me, and I will surely become as poison to you should we continue to co-exist. So, eliminate my ego and become wholly yourself. That is my final wish.”
“If that’s what you want.”
Ianna turned back to Kandemayon. Kandemayon looked frigid.
“So you’ve come to a conclusion. And Laos, I need you to lay low until the battle’s over. I won’t stay still if you ruin the equilibrium that I’ve only just managed to fix.”
“……Sure.”
Laos looked gloomy.
“Don’t be so mean to my kindhearted son.”
“He’s stupid, not kindhearted.”
Roberstein straightened herself out and gazed at the sky after she had finished telling Kandemayon off. Then, she said,
“It’s finally time for me to leave for real.”
The dark red of her lightless eyes were like embers that were on the brink of extinguishing. Like the sun had thrown herself into the night sea and cooled.
“I feel like Roygen’s waiting for me,”
she mumbled to herself as she closed her eyes. All her emotions had washed away and her eyes were vibrant when she opened them again.
“Laos.”
Roberstein caressed Laos’ cheek. His eyes glowed a silvery white as they shook.
“Let’s say goodbye for real this time.”
Roberstein smiled ever so faintly.
“I wish for you to live your own life now. Be well, Laos.”
There was nothing superfluous in her farewell that was filled with her blessings.
Laos smiled back.
“……Bye, Mom.”
Roberstein planted a kiss on Laos’ forehead.
And then, her consciousness flickered off completely.
Ianna looked at Laos. She pitied him as he wiped his tears away. She pitied him, but there was nothing she could do about it right now. And…
Ianna was suspicious of Kandemayon, whose lips had twisted.
“You’re hiding something, aren’t you?”
“Who could say? But either way, I’m not obligated to tell you.”
Laos furrowed his brows when Kandemayon tilted her head to the side.
“You said you wouldn’t do anything after she destroyed my mom’s heart!”
“I did say that. Who said otherwise? It was Ianna who was suspicious about me for no reason. I was just hoping that Bahamut will win.”
But why was it?
Ianna didn’t hate Kandemayon for saying that. It was because she hadn’t heard any sincerity in Kandemayon’s dry voice. That being said, it hadn’t quite felt like she was lying either.
And more importantly, Ianna had intuited something. Kandemayon had prepared something for her bet with Laos. Ianna didn’t know what it was, but she had a hunch that it wasn’t anything bad.
“I’ll make sure to keep an eye on Kandemayon. You should go back now, Ianna.”
“I have just one last question.”
“Please ask away.”
“How did the world’s time begin?”
Laos stared openly back at Ianna and chewed his lips.
“I think you’ll have to figure that one out for yourself.”
“…….”
“But I think you might already have a good idea.”
Ianna stopped breathing and closed her eyes.
It was time to go back now. The golden Adonis flower, which she had been holding tightly from beginning to end, filled her vision as she lowered her red eyes. A golden light poured out from the flower and scattered over the ground like seeds. The light blossomed a fetching array of golden flower buds and dyed her vision gold.
“Laos.”
“Yes?”
Laos replied obediently when Ianna called him.
“I’ll see you again later. Whether that be as Elly or as Laos.”
Laos seemed surprised at first, but he eventually smiled comfortably instead.
“Yes. I’ll be praying for your victory.”
Ianna’s soul began pulling away to somewhere after he had spoken. And simultaneously, her heart began feeling horribly frustrated.
Buzzzzz…….
The four relics inside the subspace that was connected to Ianna’s soul and Phaemdra’s trunk began tying into each other like spiderwebs as they transformed into one complete seal.
Ianna’s heart, which existed somewhere, was clashing against Roberstein’s, which had become incompatible with her.
To which heart would the soul go?
Whose heart would survive?!
This was Ianna’s final duel against Roberstein.
The duel was short.
Pooow!
The seal shattered.
It was Roberstein’s utter defeat.
‘Be victorious. And be happy.’
An incredible amount of divine power pushed its way inside Ianna’s heart alongside Roberstein’s brief thoughts.
Baaaaang!
And then, Roberstein’s heart exploded.
“Mph!”
Ianna opened her eyes wide.
“Haah, hwoo.”
Her breathing grew ragged as she clutched tightly to the blanket that was covering her frame.
The thin thread that had been connecting her soul to her heart had grown thicker. More threads stretched out between them and twinned into each other. They bound together as one, as if they meant to tie a knot that could never be undone.
Her heart was thumping violently. It swelled up and then shrank. Thump, thump, thump —it beat against her body so hard it made her ears hurt. Her hot blood exploded and raced toward the very ends of her blood vessels in a single breath. Her sleeping body was filled to the brim with life as she woke up.
Ianna’s heart, which had been awaiting her soul’s return for a very long time, savored this moment like crazy.
Shhhh.
The force that had been desperately preventing her death subsided meekly as soon as Ianna came back to life and rejoined the flow of time. Only Ianna lived alongside time and breathed in the room of stillness.
A long time passed before her heartbeat settled down and her breathing returned to its regular, slower pattern.
“Haaaah…….”
Ianna let out a long sigh as she blinked.
She was dizzy.
But she also felt better than she ever had.
She felt like she had raced at full speed, emptied out everything that was inside her, passed out, and woken up refreshed —it was a bizarre feeling.
“…….”
Ianna closed her eyes and placed her hand on her heart.
Her heart was complete.
It was complete, and there was nothing hindering her anymore.
Her heart was very stable. Neither Roberstein’s seal, which had stifled Ianna’s heart by closing it off from its surroundings, nor the five pieces of Roberstein’s start, which had been messily connected to Ianna’s heart and burdened it, were there anymore.
Roberstein’s ego, which had bewildered Ianna’s ego time and time again, had also disappeared. Ianna could still vividly remember Roberstein’s memories and knowledge, but Ianna no longer felt like they belonged to her. She simply felt like she had observed another’s life as a bystander and memorized its contents.
Ianna was finally alone, and she was finally wholly Ianna.
This was the outcome she had achieved by anguishing, fighting, and screaming all throughout her current life. She would be lying if she said that she wasn’t bitter, but Ianna decided not to harbor any lingering regrets.
‘Farewell.’
Her echoes would never be returned, but she decided to bid Roberstein goodbye anyway.
‘I will be victorious. And I will be happy.’
Ianna quietly answered the blessings that Roberstein had given her as she left. It was also a desperate vow that she made to herself.
Ianna decided to focus solely on herself now.
On her newfound freedom.
She felt like she had sprouted wings. The fetters around her ankles had broken cleanly away, and now she could fly free.
She felt like she could do anything.
She felt invincible.
Though she was still bedridden at the moment.
“This is…….”
Ianna opened her eyes.
She came back to earth as she blinked.
She felt like she had just awoken from a very, very, very long dream.
“Ugh.”
Her voice was quite hoarse as she groaned.
She clutched her forehead —her head hurt so much she almost thought she’d been clubbed— as she sat up. She slapped herself on the cheeks to pull herself together before she quickly scanned the room around her.
‘What’s with this room?’
The room gave off a peculiar feeling.
Nothing flowed in this room.
Everything that existed inside this room had been unnaturally stilled. She was the only thing moving and alive inside this room.
Ianna looked at Rise, which was lying quietly in bed beside her, before she turned to the empty vase on the table and the small candle that just barely gave off enough light to illuminate her face. And lastly, she looked at the golden flower that she had been clutching tightly in her hand.
It was the Adonis flower that had helped her return to her senses inside the world of retrogress.
And, according to Ianna’s exceptional vision, it was the very same flower that Harchen had gifted her.
‘Did not a lot of time pass, then?’
It would be fortunate if that was the case, but Ianna had a feeling that it wasn’t.
She could see that time itself hadn’t been stilled. It continued to flow forward. The very fact that she could talk and move proved that she was experiencing time.
But it felt like the space around her had been fixed to a certain point in time. Like something had adjusted to the flow of time and was promptly erasing any time that passed.
Like the records of time were being erased…….
“…….”
Ianna grabbed her right arm.
‘How much time passed in the real world?’
She couldn’t tell. She was afraid to even imagine how much time she had spent while wielding her sword inside the world of the Balance, while floundering inside the world of retrogress, while sleeping right before she met Laos, and while speaking with Laos and Kandemayon.
She could only pray that it had only been an amount of time that she could handle.
Ianna studied her body.
She remembered that she had ripped off her right arm all the way from the shoulder, but it was properly attached to her body now.
It looked like she was in a similar state to how she had been immediately after she had climbed up from Pandemonium. Her soul was sturdier and fuller than it had ever been because she had trained it to the extreme inside the Akashic Records, but she was physically reeling from exhausting her stamina back then.
‘What happened? How much time has passed since then? Or…….’
Had time been erased?
‘Now’s not the time for this. I need to see Arhad.’
Ianna jumped up to her feet.
But she disgracefully plopped right back down on the bed as soon as she stood up. Her legs were quivering and had given out from under her.
“Phew.”
Ianna took a deep breath and grabbed the wall. She kept her grip on the wall as she made her way to the door, which was the only exit from the room. She grabbed the doorknob and opened the door with everything she had.
The wind washed time away as it pushed in like a wave.
The sun crumbled like foam and scattered about fragments of its light. Ianna saw crimson, gold, and green dancing in her brightly illuminated vision.
She squinted because it was so bright. Her vision cleared up as she brushed away the crimson hair that was stuck to her face and over her eyes. And she opened her eyes wide as she saw the scenery that filled her vision to the brim.
“Oh…….”
She was speechless. Adonis flowers were blossoming magnificently all across the green field. The brilliant lumps of gold peeked out from between the fresh grasses and stretched all the way to the horizon.
Where am I? Has this place always been here?
Where did Arhad take me?
Ianna was in a daze when she suddenly realized that the doorknob she had been holding had disappeared. The room that she had been inside until mere moments ago had vanished without a trace.
It was only after she had returned to her senses that she was able to think about anything other than the scenery.
The air felt different on her skin. It was starkly different from what she remembered. There was much more divine power of nature than there had ever been before, and the mana was stiff and rigid. Had things changed because they had destroyed the Demon’s heart?
The season was also different from what Ianna remembered. The weather was warm and comfortable. It was spring.
‘It was the end of winter when we went to Pandemonium.’
Had it only been a month? It would be fortunate if that was the case.
‘But why isn’t Arhad here yet?’
He was surely aware that she was awake now.
Ianna contemplated for a moment before she adjusted her grip on Rise. If Arhad wasn’t here, then it was likely because he was either very busy or in danger. Ianna activated the ring on her finger and teleported to where he was. But she had never needed to.
“Oh.”
Because he was already standing right there in front of her.
“…….”
“…….”
The two of them stared at each other wordlessly.
Ianna was rendered speechless when she saw Arhad and could not find the words to say. He looked much gaunter than what she remembered. His skin was rough, and his countenance was pallid. The armor protecting his body was covered in wounds and caked with blood. It looked like he had been in the middle of a fight before arriving here.
Ianna looked to his face last, and she thought he looked a little more mature.
Had it truly only been a month?
Most likely not.
“How long has it been?”
Her voice reached his ear.
It felt surreal.
Arhad had come running as soon as he felt his power over time break apart, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he was dreaming. But he had to answer even if this was a dream, because Ianna had asked.
“A year.”
A year…… it was a fairly short duration of time, in one sense. But it had been closer to an eternity when considering the situation they were in.
Ianna had fallen onto the path of death immediately after she had successfully saved Arhad. How hellish had Arhad’s life been this past year? The Bahamut imperial family had probably only grown more vicious ever since they had failed to kill him. Just how much had he struggled this past year?
Ianna felt painfully guilty that she hadn’t been able to return soon, and she was endlessly relieved that he had been safe and alive in the meanwhile.
Arhad walked up to Ianna while she was dithering and pulled her into a hug so tight that she couldn’t breathe.
“Is this a dream?”
he mumbled dryly.
Ianna’s heart broke.
“……No, it’s not.”
“A hallucination, then?”
“No.”
Arhad could not assuage his doubts even though Ianna was moving and alive and even though she hadn’t faded away after he had taken hold of her.
“Truly?”
“Yes. Truly.”
Ianna continued to tell Arhad that she was awake now as he continued to doubt and ask. It was only after they had repeated the same exchange dozens of times that Arhad finally began to wonder if this was truly real.
He kissed Ianna on the lips.
He could feel her warm breath from her lips —they had been closed so tightly before. Ianna’s eyes were glistening with a vibrant light —they had been shut before. Her arms were wrapped around his back —they had been lying listlessly in bed before.
It was only then that Arhad finally confirmed that this was indeed real.
“…….”
The strength left his legs. Listlessness flooded him as the strength that had been forcing him to stay up left him. He held Ianna’s hand tightly as he sank down.
“Ahh…….”
He covered his face with his free hand. Ianna looked down at him as she quietly sat down in front of him.
“I’ve made you wait so long.”
Her hand caressed the back of his hand. She continued,
“I’m home.”
Arhad brought his hand down from his face and looked at Ianna with swaying eyes. He pulled Ianna into his embrace once again and kept her firmly there. He burrowed his face against her neck.
She smelled like life.
It was ever so sweet.
They were located at the heart of the Great Forest of Shaob, which had been reduced to a fourth of its size, and they were near Phaemdra’s second body.
It was the safest place in the world after the Cataclysm because Phaemdra’s roots held the earth firmly in place, and Bahamut did not pay much attention to this place.
Ianna and Arhad spoke about a lot of things.
They spoke about the world after the Cataclysm and the Bahamut Empire’s violent actions.
About the Balance and the Akashic Records.
About Laos and Kandemayon.
“Taylon’s turning into a monster as he indiscriminately slaughters life and absorbs the divine power of nature, which is abundant in the world now. He’s destroying the entire world because he’s drunk on power and madness.”
“How were you able to stop him all this time?”
“I gave up on offense entirely and focused solely on defense.”
Arhad could have fought without caring about his surroundings like Taylon was, but he had too much that he needed to protect. That was why he had chosen instead to reinforce his barriers to the utmost extremes and developed new defensive artefacts to adapt to the changed world —he had put his everything into defending.
And so, he had become the world’s shield.
“I couldn’t kill Taylon because I was too busy defending. I suppose you could say that I was reduced to curling into myself and protecting my vital spots. Taylon stopped attacking when he realized that he wasn’t making any progress, and then he began focusing on growing stronger. I had no choice but to prepare for the worst as I watched him turn into a monster that I wouldn’t be able to deal with. I even grew weak and thought that I’d have to destroy myself alongside Taylon if I couldn’t hold out until you woke up. But…”
Arhad paused and turned to the flowers that filled his vision. Then, he continued,
“I trusted that you’d wake up without fail and came to see the flowers I planted every time I lost confidence and thought I might lose my mind. Maybe it was because you told me what these flowers symbolize? Looking at them makes me feel like I can do anything, and they gave me hope that you would come back.”
Arhad caressed Ianna’s cheek.
“I can’t consider giving up when there are so many people who put their blind faith in me. And I can’t die because I have to live a happy life with you.”
He pressed his lips against her forehead.
“That’s why I gritted my teeth and pressed on. Thank you for coming back to me before I went insane.”
Arhad had changed.
He was neither Arhad Roygen nor Arhad Ro Ralzo Bahamut. He was Arhad Rise Ex-knights, the leader of Ex-knights. He was the Arhad that Ianna so loved and trusted.
“Arhad,”
Ianna called quietly. She saw how Arhad had changed and finally decided to put an end to the past that she had been hiding. She continued,
“I think I have an answer to the homework you gave me.”
Arhad flinched.
“Go on.”
“You have the power to ‘Erase Time,’ don’t you?”
It finally made sense.
She understood how her arm had been repaired overnight after she had ruined it during her days at the Institution and how the state of her body was exactly the same as it had been a year ago.
……And she finally understood how she had been reborn.
“You’re right.”
Arhad Ro Ralzo Bahamut had erased the world’s time shortly after she had died…….
“It’s Time Erasure —you got it right.”
Arhad calmly told her the answer.
Ianna had completed her homework, but she swallowed back a sigh because she still felt stuffy and stifled for some reason.
She did not know when Arhad had obtained his great power. But she was certain that Arhad had erased time in the past. What had he been thinking as he did that? She couldn’t even ask him because the current Arhad didn’t remember the past. Her heart stung.
In any event, how was she supposed to go about telling him about their warped and twisted past? How would he take it? Would he simply laugh and move on? Would he say that he didn’t mind and focus only on the present?
She wanted to confess to him about their past lives, but she didn’t know where she should even start because it was so complicated and because she was worried about how he might react.
But just as Ianna touched the flowers for no reason and tried to carefully pick out her words.
“Ianna, do you…….”
There was a peculiar light in Arhad’s eyes as he looked down at Ianna. He continued,
“Do you remember your past life?”
It had been so sudden.
“……?”
My past life?
For a moment, Ianna failed to comprehend the familiar yet unfamiliar words that Arhad had uttered.
She slowly looked up and saw that there was no playfulness on Arhad’s visage as he looked directly back at her.
My past life? Do I remember my past life?
Which past life?
“From when I beat you during the Youth’s Swordsmanship Tournament in Roanne to when I killed you during the continental war…….”
Ianna’s expression froze stiff. Her glazed eyes —she was in a daze because she couldn’t grasp what was going on— suddenly shook as if she had been thrown into a storm.
The Youth’s Swordsmanship Tournament, when Arhad had defeated her.
The continental war, when Arhad had killed her.
Neither made sense in the context of this life. They hadn’t participated in the tournament in this life. And Arhad had never killed her in this life.
This wasn’t about the Holy Age either.
Arhad was talking about the time that had been erased. That dream-like time, which was fading away from her now, remained only as an illusion in the corner of Ianna’s mind. It was so long ago that she could hardly even remember it.
But that was what Arhad was referring to. He was asking her if she remembered the dream of the past from over twenty years ago.
Arhad squeezed a little and plucked a flower.
‘Did I say something wrong?’
As Ianna tried her best to calm down and return to a reality that she could comprehend, Arhad posed her yet another question like he was driving a wedge into her.
“Do you remember that time from beginning to end? Did you remember it ever since you were born?”
The blood began to drain from Ianna’s face. Arhad chose his next words carefully as he scrutinized her features and continued,
“Did you remember even when we first met? Even now? Did you always remember?”
The inside of Ianna’s head went white.
Ianna jumped up before she could stop herself and began to back away from him. The strength left her legs, and she ended up sinking back down to the hard ground below. But she didn’t have the leisure to care about her disgraceful behavior. She stammered as she replied,
“How…do you……?”
“…….”
Arhad slowly stood up. Then, he said,
“I knew it —I didn’t mishear you.”
He walked up to Ianna slow and carefully, very carefully, looked into her face.
And then, he abruptly reached out toward her. Ianna’s lips were twitching in her bewilderment, and she smacked away Arhad’s approaching hand before she could stop herself. The strength readily left Arhad’s arm.
Ianna’s breathing grew ragged.
No way. Does Arhad remember his past life too?
Ianna was panicking. She was at a complete loss as she looked into Arhad’s face with shaking eyes.
She couldn’t bear this, so she turned away from him and fled. She would have run if she could, but her legs were weak and all she could do was walk away quickly while facing only forward.
She could not bring herself to look back at Arhad. She needed time to reorganize her thoughts, even if it meant ignoring him.
Ianna felt like her head was about to explode.
‘What’s going on? How is this possible?’
She had so many questions, but these two were more than enough. She felt even more absurd because she could accept it so readily.
Of course it’s possible. He was the one who erased that time to begin with.
I remembered, so it’s entirely possible for Arhad to remember too.
Why was I a fool who never once considered this?
Because neither of us talked about it. Because Arhad probably didn’t mention it, just like how I never mentioned our past lives to him either.
She had avoided the issue by telling herself to cast aside her uncomfortable past and focus solely on the past, and her avoidance had become a curtain that had covered her eyes.
She had thought that she knew Arhad better than any other.
But she hadn’t known. She hadn’t known a single thing. She was a fool.
“Ahhh…….”
Ianna covered her mouth. There was an outpour of unbearable emotions coming from her heart. Her face flushed bright red. The only emotion that made it out of her mouth was her bewilderment.
‘How did this happen?’
She had always been so confident because she had thought that he didn’t know. She had chased after him like nothing was wrong even though she had hurt him so much in the past, and she had been able to share her feelings with him because she had thought that she had never hurt him.
But Arhad remembered her past self, who had hated him until the day she had died.
She could now fully understand why he had been so reluctant to spar with her when they had first met in this life.
‘What was Arhad thinking as he observed me?’
As I feigned total ignorance in this life and showered him with my goodwill and asked him for a match even though I’d rejected him so much and hated him to death in the past?
‘And what about now?’
Right now, he was probably ruminating over her every word and action from this life, just like she was.
Shame and humiliation surged up from within her next. Ianna’s complexion grew pale, then crimson, until it finally settled on pallid. Ianna wanted to vanish from the spot.
But she was pulled backward just then. Ianna recalled the first time she had been pulled into Arhad’s embrace as he hugged her from behind.
“……The you in my arms right now —are you not an illusion……?”
Ianna recalled the sweet melancholy of his voice as the scene seemed to replay in her mind.
Arhad had said something about how he had fallen for her at first sight and had embraced her before he could stop herself, but it still didn’t make sense that he would embrace a young girl who didn’t even know him like some kind of scoundrel and whisper those words in her ear. He wasn’t the type of person to do that.
The cry he had shouted back when she had mistakenly thought that he was projecting Roberstein onto her rang in her ears.
“I, I’m……yes.”
Goosebumps broke out all over Ianna’s being.
“You’re right. I hugged you from behind back then. I was the person you met at the Temple of Laos. But I never projected Roberstein onto you. Trust me on this. I am always looking to you —you, and only you, Ianna.”
A fever burned from within her. The fire that had sprouted like new seeds spread and blossomed a feverish flower throughout Ianna’s entire being.
“I wasn’t looking at Roberstein. I was never looking at Roberstein. I am always only looking directly at you. You!”
I see…you…you were looking at the past me…always only me.
An electrifying thrill ran down from the top of her head to the bottom of her toes as she finally truly understood what he had been saying.
This man, who had never changed. This man, who had approached her yet again even though he hadn’t forgotten.
His reckless emotions were so ridiculously constant. He was like a straight line with no gaps in between. And the straight and upright line that he was pierced directly through Ianna’s thumping heart.
She felt like her heart might stop.
Arhad turned Ianna around. Ianna couldn’t calm down.
“Ah…….”
Arhad looked down distantly at Ianna, who, unlike how calm and composed she was normally, was at a complete loss for what to do with herself.
He had done a lot of thinking over this past year. Most of it had been in his anguish over whether or not Ianna truly remembered her past life.
And, at some point, he had firmly begun believing that it was true. That was why he had been so calm even as he asked her if she remembered.
But now, in this very moment, since it was not a baseless conclusion in his mind but a very real Ianna standing before him who was confirming that everything was true, something fiery began to surge up from within him.
Arhad had calmly summarized what he had been up to this past year for Ianna earlier, but the truth was that he had wanted to die dozens, hundreds of times a day at first.
He had thought that he would lose his mind from the rage and guilt he directed at himself for pushing Ianna to the brink of death because of his lack of skill and because of the despair and frustration he felt as he wondered what would happen if Ianna died. He trusted Ianna, but he got the impulse to slit his own throat and kill himself every time his emotions surfaced.
He’d had no choice but to ignore his emotions and maintain an unyielding spirit if he didn’t want to die. He had immediately cleared his mind and retreated into himself whenever any emotion threatened to emerge. He had lived this past year by completely killing off his grudges and devoting himself only to his official duties.
That was why neither his head nor his heart had worked properly at first even though he had perceived that Ianna had returned. He had been in a daze, as if nothing happening around him was real.
And now, Arhad had finally been dragged back down to reality.
It was only now that his rationality put away his unyielding spirit and an uncontrollable joy spread over his once emotionless mien.
“Right……. That’s why you chose me this time around. Because you…you always keep your promises!”
Ianna found herself in Arhad’s arms yet again. She could not push away the arms that were wrapped so solidly around her. His arms were quivering.
Old emotions poured out from Ianna’s heart as it opened up.
They were the sorrow, sorriness, and guilt she felt toward the man who had erased time, to the pitiful man and his reckless emotions as he lived his time again.
“So that’s how it was. You……you remember. It all makes sense now. You remembered from the very beginning. I’d always thought it was strange. It was so strange that you smiled for me, that you approached me…….”
Ianna’s heart began beating like crazy this time as she heard Arhad’s agitated voice by her ear.
Indeed. The reason why he had always been so bizarrely anxious was all because of the time of their past lives. Ianna’s breathing grew ragged. Her vision began to blur.
That day, when they had met for the first time at the Institution.
That moonlit night when she had still been sixteen, though she had also been drunk and dizzy at the time.
And ever since that day, all the way until now.
The way he had looked so passive and unconfident, so anxious and fretful. The way he sometimes acted crazy and abnormally —it all began to fill Ianna’s head little by little before it passed her by.
Ianna, who was just barely managing to untangle the mess that was her mind one thread of doubt at a time, blankly asked,
“At the very beginning, why did you direct your bloodlust at we when we first met at the Temple of Laos?”
“Because I thought you were just another one of my usual hallucinations.”
“Why did you hug me from behind back then like some kind of scoundrel, and why did you say what you said to me?”
“Because I lost my ability to reason when I realized that it was really you.”
“Why did you avoid me when we met again and I asked you to spar with me?”
“Because I remembered how enraged you were when I defeated you and how you hated me until the day you died.”
The questions that she had always struggled against, that had always driven her into a corner, that she had always tried to force an answer from. Ianna asked all the questions that she had never been able to cleanly resolve because she had always been lacking something one after another, and Arhad answered her without reserve, as if she had never needed to be so frustrated in the first place.
“Why were you always so anxious?”
“Because I doubted the happiness I had in the present whenever I recalled the past, and because I was afraid that my happiness would slip through my fingers.”
“Why did you lose your mind every time I rejected you?”
“Because you overlapped with your past self, who always rejected me, in my mind.”
“Why was your heart so unwell?”
“Because I sacrificed it in order to Erase Time.”
Ianna was rendered speechless.
She lowered her head listlessly. The sudden inundation of truth made her head throb like a dam breaking after a heavy deluge.
“……Why?”
And the core to which the roots of all her questions lead…… She continued,
“Why did you erase time? Why are we reliving our lives……?”
“Because you made me a promise after our final battle.”
Ianna recalled the words she had said as she died during her first life, the words she had spat at to him when she couldn’t even see him properly because the pain had made her vision blurry.
Her vow, which had become the compass of her life.
“This life is over. But in the next, I won’t be your enemy but your knight.”
The words she had spoken in her memories overlapped with the words that she was inadvertently muttering now.
Arhad’s face lit up like he was burning in joy. His arms trembled, unable to hold back the surge of his emotions, as he held Ianna tight.
Ianna failed to pull herself together.
‘This life is over. But in the next, I won’t be your enemy but your knight.’
She couldn’t breathe. All because of those words, which she had only spoken as she had been tossing him a coin.
“You really kept your promise. You became my knight, and you stayed by my side.”
It was precisely as he’d said.
Ianna had kept her promise.
And this man had abandoned everything else in return.
His lofty throne, his mountains of gold and silver, the continent beneath his feet, and even his own heart and life.
He had killed her in his resignation, but then he had sacrificed everything he had to bring her back all because of what she had said.
All because he had wanted her so badly.
“If it was because you remembered everything that you approached me, then you no longer need to hide anything, hesitate, or be afraid, Ianna.”
Arhad squeezed her even tighter. He squeezed her so tight, as if he was declaring that he would never let her go, that Ianna couldn’t breathe. He continued,
“I love you, Ianna. I truly love you…….”
Arhad continued to repeat his love to Ianna as if he had lost his mind, and Ianna’s face slowly began glowing scarlet from within his embrace. She lost her strength and began trembling.
“I love you…….”
The emotion that erased all the emotions making a mess of her soul and filled her heart with to the brim as he confessed his love to her was the affection she carried for the man who couldn’t conceal his joy as he held her tight in his arms. And Ianna knew what that affection was.
It was love.
Her eyes grew hot. She squeezed them shut.
What am I to you that you love me so much? Why do you harbor such unbearable feelings for me?
His love, which was so dreadfully constant and nobly pure. His reckless love, which had never changed even as he was reborn and lived his life again.
This one man who knew no one but her. This man, to whom his love for her was his everything.
Like a religious fanatic who would shove a dagger through his own heart as he sacrificed his everything to his god, or like a sinner who lamented as he sought salvation. Arhad was begging Ianna to love him.
“I love you.”
It sent a shiver down her spine. Ianna was almost afraid as he needed her so desperately. Was this how the butterfly felt when it was tied up in a spiderweb and unable to budge?
“I love you…….”
But Ianna experienced an electrifying thrill because his love was directed only to her. The languidness that spread throughout her like a ripple across the water’s surface made her moan quietly.
Ianna pulled herself out from Arhad’s embrace and put a little distance between them as she caressed his cheek with a trembling hand. A stream of tears dyed with his emotions was falling down his cheeks from his golden eyes, which were raging with a storm of emotions. His feverish tears moistened Ianna’s fingers.
Ianna opened her mouth in a daze.
“Roygen, Arhad Roygen…….”
She wrapped her hands around his cheeks and called his name.
“Arhad.”
Ianna found herself trapped in the snare of Arhad’s emotions.
She was all tangled up, and she had long since given up on breaking free because she could not budge no matter how hard she struggled. No, she refused to break free even if she could. Ianna empathized with his bottomless love.
Quietly, she asked him,
“Do you love me?”
It was only obvious that he would reply in the affirmative.
But Ianna wanted to hear what exactly the love that Arhad spoke of was right here and now. She wanted to confirm the love that had always supported her from beneath her feet until today, when she had finally obtained her wings and had flown all the way up to the very peak.
“I love you.”
Arhad supported her from below like he always had. If Ianna was the sun, then he was a plant who yearned for the sunlight, and if Ianna was the rain, then he was the parched earth.
Ianna was ‘absolute’ because Arhad was with her.
It had always been like that ever since the beginning, and it would always be like that until the very end.
“For all eternity.”
Arhad took Ianna’s hands as he stood before her and brought his forehead to them. he continued,
“From that moment in the past when I first laid my eyes on you, to the present where we’re together, and to the unforeseeable future without an end…….”
Arhad planted a kiss on her hands like he was a dead person who had found the most precious life in the world.
“I will respect and love you and only you like crazy.”
An eternal love. The endless love that transcended time itself and supported her.
Its name was bliss…….
Ianna acknowledged her defeat once again as he slowly raised his half-open eyes and looked up at her in such a heartrending manner.
He was endearing.
He was so endearing that it was driving her insane.
Ianna learned exactly what it meant to find someone endearing just then, and so much so that she nearly lost her ability to reason for a moment.
The emotion grabbed and twisted her heart tightly, squeezing out two contradictory desires from within.
She wanted to caress him gently, but she also wanted to be rough with him. She wanted to embrace him carefully, like he could crumble apart at any moment, but she also wanted to squeeze him so hard that he might shatter. She wanted to kiss him slowly, but she also wanted to gobble him down.
The love that had been surging inside her heart exploded.
Ianna ultimately pulled Arhad in by the neck and kissed him because she couldn’t hold herself back any longer. She transferred the heated fever in her lips to his.
Please continue to love me.
Please love me with everything that you are.
So that my love won’t be lonely, and so that I will never lose myself.
Please love me like you said you will. For all eternity.
I am going to stay by your side forever.
I will wield my sword so that I can protect you forever.
My man, my love, my happiness.
A sticky and selfish emotion that demanded that this man must love her until his dying breath, like he had always done, crawled up from within her. Ianna stopped devouring his lips for a moment and, somewhat fretfully, whispered,
“Very well. Let’s see this through until the bitter end, even if it means eternity.”
Fires blazes in Arhad’s pupils.
And before he could say anything in reply, Ianna grabbed him by the cheek and parted open his feverish and moistened lips as she began kissing him obsessively once more.
“Hwoo…….”
Arhad’s breathing grew just as ragged as Ianna’s as he responded. The way his arms were holding her so tight that she might shatter, the way his heart was racing like he had raced as fast as he could until he was out of breath, the feverish warmth of his chest, the way his lips were being ravaged by an ardent and possessive desire, the disheveled strands of his black hair over his face, and the passion in his gaze —he was faring no better than Ianna.
Ianna found him ever so endearing for loving her back even more when she loved him.
He was endearing.
He was so endearing.
And the muddy fever devoured Ianna whole.
They spoke about a lot of things.
They grew embarrassed, they grumbled, they grew awkward……a myriad of emotions passed between them, but they ultimately ended up laughing.
There was still so much that they hadn’t discussed yet, but there wasn’t enough time.
“I would’ve liked to discuss this with you for several days on end if I could have things my way, but now isn’t the time for that.”
There was so much work they had to do that they didn’t have the leisure to discuss for days. Ianna needed to see the world for herself because she couldn’t understand exactly how things had changed from Arhad’s words alone. She had to check Ex-knights defenses for herself too, though she was certain that Arhad had done his job properly.
She also had to confirm her skills now that she had broken her shackles and had grown even more. But just confirming her skills wasn’t enough —she still had to grow even stronger. And she needed to put an end to Bahamut.
There was so much that she needed to do, but she wasn’t as anxious as she had been before.
She had seen the Truth of the World, and the thirst that her questions had caused her had been quenched.
Ianna was brimming with the confidence that she could do anything.
She looked directly back at Arhad, who was observing her quietly.
“Is there still something that you’d like to say? What is it?”
Arhad looked a little hesitant for some reason.
“I’d like you to grant me my wish.”
Ianna immediately understood what he was talking about.
The reward for their bet.
“Then, shall we make a bet?”
“What kind of bet?”
“A bet on whether you’ll be able to figure it out or not. The winner will have to grant to one of the loser’s wishes.”
Ianna had no idea why Arhad had set up their bet this way. After all, she always strived to do whatever it was that he wanted.
“What is it?”
Arhad slowly lowered his head as Ianna grew curious.
“Forgive me,”
he said like a sinner.
Ianna was puzzled. Is there anything that I even need to forgive him for? They had already resolved their entangled emotions as they discussed earlier.
“Forgive me for killing you.”
Arhad begged Ianna to forgive him for her death while she still looked quizzical. He continued,
“I have no excuse for what I did. And I also want to take back yelling at you and saying that it was the end.”
I was insane, and I was truly out of my right mind back then.
Arhad had been reluctant to confess to Ianna about their past lives because the fact that he had killed her personally had bothered him so much. They may have been enemies, but what could someone who had murdered the woman he loved only to bring her back to life and whisper his love to her again be called if not a crazy bastard?
And he really had no excuses because his mind had snapped and he had threatened Ianna several times in this life too.
“Hmmm.”
But Ianna was truly all right.
Ianna and Arhad had not only been representatives of enemy nations in the past, but they had also been mortal enemies themselves, so one of them had been destined to die anyway.
Moreover, she would not have been able to cut herself out from her cycle of hatred had Arhad not killed her back then. Ianna was actually so embarrassed about how she had thrown a tantrum and obsessed over victory because she had failed to acknowledge her defeat that she wanted to crawl into a hole. She was almost glad that he had killed her.
And most importantly, Ianna was a madwoman herself when it came to Arhad. She more than understood him because they were both insane.
That was why she could forgive him so magnanimously. After all, these things happened sometimes. And she found Arhad so adorable for seeking her forgiveness in this manner.
He was so adorable that he was endearing.
He was ever so endearing.
This man had erased time itself with his love, something that even a god as great as Roberstein hadn’t been capable of, because he had regretted and regretted everything so much that he would rather die —how could she not love him?
How could she possibly not love this man, who was huddling into himself like a sinner even though he had done so much for her?
He was endearing.
He was so endearing.
He was truly just so endearing.
Ianna was merely grateful.
So she pulled him in for a tight hug.
“It’s true. You killed me.”
Arhad flinched. Ianna continued,
“And then, you granted me a new life.”
Ianna squeezed him even tighter.
“Thank you,”
she mumbled.
“I’m so, so grateful to you.”
For making it possible for me to continue my match with you.
For making it so that I could see the ultimate peak of swordsmanship.
For making it possible for me to know love.
For teaching me what happiness is.
“Thank you…….”
—“Truth and Resolution” End
—To be continued in Volume 12
ToC Chapter 35