Side Story: Myth 2

You’re here? I was up early waiting for you. Now, shall I continue the story from where I left off before?

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Pandemonium was very, very dark. It was a place where the sun’s light didn’t reach, after all. Nothing existed in Pandemonium save for the dead god. I began observing it after learning of its existence.

Most gods changed the shape of their bodies multiple times as time passed to match the state of their souls, but the dead god never once changed its form. It always took the shape of a small lizard with wings. It was a very black lizard.

It was obvious that it either didn’t have enough divine power to change his body or that it didn’t have the divine power to maintain it even if it did change its body to better suit its soul.

But, just like the other gods, its body had a heart, crimson blood ran through its veins, and it had a brain that suggested high intelligence. It looked similar to the other ordinary lizard gods, but there was something that always marked it different from them —like the fact that it had wings, for example.

It existed as only a soul in the darkness for the most part, but it opened his eyes clearly when it managed to just barely form itself a body by drinking what little divine power that dribbled down from my roots.

And then, it did nothing but huddle up and stare at the sky at the other side of the hole. That was the only thing it could do in the suffocating darkness. The light faded from its eyes and it grew limp when it began running low on divine power.

Oh, it can’t move anymore. It must be almost out of divine power.

I could not speak to it. I could not speak to any of the gods —I could only speak to the spirits who had been with me since the very beginning. I mean, how was a tree supposed to speak? All I could do was vaguely feel for the other party’s emotions.

It was empty. It didn’t feel anything. And that was only natural. Only it and I existed inside Pandemonium, and no one could speak or communicate with it. That being said, I couldn’t use my roots to pull it up to the surface either. It was obvious to me that it would be weeded out as soon as it left Pandemonium. After all, it was the lowest of the lowest-ranking gods.

……Then again, could it even be called a god if it couldn’t produce divine power? I watched over it for a long while before I concluded that it was not a god but a by-product that had been left over after the gods were born.

Watching it struggling desperately just to survive didn’t exactly feel pleasant to me, so I stopped watching over it once I had decided that it was not a god. And then, I forgot about it completely.

I did nothing and watched over Paradise for a long stretch of time. Paradise had changed a lot. Buildings meant for the gods’ comfort and pleasure had been erected in Paradise, which the spirits had originally built as a harmony of nature, and a beverage called nectar had been created by squeezing out juices from plants and from the bodies of other gods.

Paradise had once been a beautiful place filled only with positive emotions such as love and friendship, consideration and joy, goodwill and romance, reverence and gratitude, and hope and happiness, but negative feelings had begun forming as well.

They had all stemmed from the gods’ fear of death.

“Aaaack!”

The gods had been seized with terror when the first god had gone extinct. The god’s soul and fragment of chaos had vanished from the world completely. I had been alarmed as well. Things had simply turned back into divine power even after going extinct back when everything had just been one giant lump of chaos.

The gods were terrified. They could not know where they went after they died. The gods could live forever as long as they had divine power, and death was the vilest monster they feared.

This was why a hierarchy had started forming not too long after the gods and been born and had been laughing cheerfully amongst themselves. Ranks formed naturally in accordance to the size of their fragments of chaos or the amount of divine power they had, or conversely in accordance to number of dead particles they had in their fragments of chaos.

The high-ranking gods had more than enough divine power to easily maintain their souls and even use their powers as freely as they pleased, and the low-ranking gods, who had a lot of dead particles in their fragments of chaos, could not produce as much divine power and always craved for more…….

The gods viewed divine power as a symbol of power and authority. This was why dead particles that could not produce life were regarded as trash even though there was nothing else that made them any different from living particles.

Gods were intelligent and emotional creatures. Powerful gods gradually grew arrogant as they watched weaker gods bow before them, and they grew in their desire for more power and authority. Weaker gods did not hesitate to bend knee before stronger gods as they scraped together the divine power they craved. They began threatening other weaker gods into giving them their divine power, and they even started to kill each other to steal more divine power. They had to be servile just to survive, and they soon grew dissatisfied at the world for being unjust.

Sometimes, their negative emotions, such as their fear of death, their lust for power and authority, their greed and their envy, or their despair and desperation even made them murder each other out of rage.

There was more than enough divine power for all the gods to live together happily if they all pooled together. Every tragedy had arisen solely from greed…….

The world was like a scale, so if there was death on one side, there was also birth on the other. The gods were divided between two sexes: male and female. This was apparently specifically for the purpose of birth. Sometimes, a mother became pregnant after engaging in sexual relations, and, after a brief gestation period, a new god with a brand-new fragment of chaos would be born that inherited characteristics from both parents.

It was surprising. If death and extinction turned something into nothing, then bringing forth new life —in other words, birth— brought something out from nothing. Just as the spirits had created the world, and just as I had felt the duty to pull out the gods from Pandemonium and bring forth new life, I thought that the gods, too, had their own purpose in the world. I had thought that the gods had the duty to birth new gods into the world.

The process was something both mysterious and beautiful in my eyes, and I saw birth as the sole means of maintaining Paradise. But the gods, however, apparently thought otherwise.

Had Fate wanted Paradise to End?

Newly born gods hungered heavily for their mother’s divine power while they were still in the womb. And not only did they steal their mother’s divine power like it was their own, they also weakened their mother greatly until they were finally born. Birth was such an arduous process that it required the mother to sacrifice.

Birth consumed a lot of the mother’s divine power. The gods continued satiating their sexual desires, but they refused to conceive after learning of this because they were afraid that they might die while harboring new life. A god’s ranking was determined randomly at birth, and parents were not confident they could take care of a god who was born with a lot of dead particles. The gods were also afraid of how their children would act.

Moreover, the gods cared only about themselves and were therefore repulsed by the birth of new gods. The gods could live forever, and they did not need to give birth to new offspring to prosper.

And so, the ancient gods lived in Paradise without bringing forth new gods. They had abandoned their duty to multiply. The gods continued to die off, and no new gods were born. It didn’t show because there were so many of them, but society quickly devolved into the law of the jungle. And the gods’ numbers dwindled little by little.

The selfish gods only cared about themselves, and they eventually grew to regard feelings such as love, affection, friendship, and trust as pointless.

I had by and largely lost their interest by then. I had pulled up the fragments of chaos, and my children, the plants, were thriving and multiplying as they gave birth to new life, so I was free of my duties and simply existed as I was.

Like the spirits, I had no heart. I lacked divine power because chaos, which supplied my divine power for me, no longer had any fragments left inside that could produce it, and it started becoming difficult for me just to maintain my soul, never mind my body.

One needed to keep supplying their body with divine power to remain young. The body grew weaker if it wasn’t supplied with enough divine power. In my case, my bark began falling off my body and the leaves attached to me began withering away. And so, I, whose body had once been dignified and awe-inspiring in the past, was reduced to a smaller tree that was only slightly larger than the rest. I had no choice but to grow smaller if I wanted to keep my body healthy with what little divine power I had left. I began considering that a large body no longer suited me.

Was it also because I was forlorn now that my duty was over and I had no more lingering regrets? My ego grew weaker, and had begun sleeping for longer stretches of time before I knew it.

My only friend who visited me whenever she had the chance was Roberstein —Ro. Ro could summon the spirits and speak with me whenever she wished because she was strong and had ample divine power, but she normally came to me alone and rested against my trunk.

Ro was the strongest god. Ro was the firstborn god, born before everything in the world save for the spirits and myself, the divine power she possessed was the strongest, she naturally had an amazing handle over her divine power, and she possessed a terrifying and dreadful power that could cast the other gods into extinction, so I am sure that the other gods regarded her as a kind of monster whom they could never approach.

Moreover, she could wield her beloved weapon —the sword— like a demoness and take lives in an instant even without using her power, so the other gods shunned her even as they revered her.

She was the arbiter who protected the peace in Paradise because she could bring fights to a halt with her overwhelming might and because she Judged all evildoers. She generally let the world revolve without her because she understood that she was too powerful in comparison to the other gods. But other gods always came to her to beg that she Judged someone who had done evil or to repeal the tyranny of another powerful god, and she did as they asked if she decided that their requests were just. Moreover, she protected Paradise all by herself when it was in danger.

But no one remembered her deeds. She was always composed and she was even cruel to her enemies and unforgiving to those gods who disturbed the peace of the world, so the gods feared her and were uncomfortable around her even as they held her in awe and high esteem.

She, too, did not get along very well with the other gods because she understood how they felt about her. Powerful gods with a lot of authority did everything they could to keep her in check, and she herself stayed away and kept silent as they had wished because she didn’t want to influence the rest of the world —and so, she always only watched over the world in silence.

No one was ever brave enough to approach her. There were those who sought her out every once in a while, but they were either low-ranking gods in desperate need for divine power or high-ranking gods who came to beg for her consent in advance before committing a few sins to maintain their authority.

She had no other god beside her whom she could opened her heart to. On the other hand, there were countless gods who dedicated themselves to her and followed her.

The gods who idolized her loved the sun, which reminded them of her. They liked other glittering jewels too, but they called the metal that seemed to shine with the sun’s light “gold” and they enjoyed decorating themselves with it. They were too afraid of getting burnt to get close to her, but they revolved around her and followed her……. But Ro never paid them any heed in particular.

Just as the spirits created the world as soon as they were born, as if they had been bewitched, and just as I brought out the god’s fragments out of duty, it looked like she, too, thought of it as her duty to protect, mediate, and maintain the state of the world. I wonder where our sense of obligation stemmed from?

It was probably because these were things that only we could do, and the expectations that others had for us turned into responsibilities, and then those responsibilities became our duties.

Ro was responsible for a lot of things because so many gods followed her. But because of this, it looked like she often felt incredibly fatigued mentally even when she couldn’t let it show. She always looked exhausted when she sought me out. And she looked ever so incredibly lonely.

“With great power comes great responsibility, or so they say. The gods rely upon me to play the role of maintaining the state of the world, and I don’t dislike answering to their expectations. I believe that I was born to fulfil my duty……. Besides, this world is the world that you and the spirits created, and it the place in which we will continue living. I want to protect it.”

I always silently offered her my shade. And when I did, she would always smile for me in peace. And she always trained vigorously with the sword when she was by my side.

She was never able to enjoy anything because she was always the lone wolf, but her sword was her one inseparable friend. She always looked like she was having so much fun as she wielded her sword and raised her skills.

I watched over her quietly. She was both my precious friend and my beloved daughter. The other gods may not have known, but she was always kind and tender to those she considered her friends.

“I’ll protect you. So you have to stay alive, okay?”

My power……yes, I’ll tell you.

I have the power to see the future.

Only Ro, who was very close to the spirits and me, knew this, but the spirits never asked me to see into the future for them because they had no need to know, and Ro, too, didn’t wish to see anything in particular. To be more exact, I think she didn’t want me to push myself.

“Don’t push yourself.”

She was always worried about how weak I had grown. She shared her divine power with me every time I withered, and I regained my vigor whenever she did. And then, Ro would look at me and smile.

Indeed, I had planned to live out the rest of my days like that. I thought it was enough that I could stand beneath the warm sun.

I had the ability to see the future, but I chose not to use it. Was I curious about what would happen to the world? But I could see how the world would end even without using my power. The gods were too greedy for life to give birth, and only death existed in the world, so it was obvious to me that it would end one day…….

I was satisfied just to savor the warm days in the woods until the world ended. I had nothing to fear, as Ro had declared the woods in which I resided as her territory and watched over it. There was a selfish part of me that thought that the spirits and Ro were all I needed. After all, neither Ro nor the spirits would go extinct unless they decided to end their own lives.

But then, one day, a war broke out between two powerful high-ranking gods. Lower-ranking gods joined in on it because they found it a great opportunity to openly steal divine power from each other. The war was large enough that Paradise almost broke apart, but, surprisingly, Ro did not intervene.

She leaned against me as she told me that it was too late to stop the war and that things had to explode at some point anyway. She also said that everyone had wanted the war to happen. And that they would figure something out once the war was over.

Paradise was Hell when it was filled only with death. Blood spilled, and body parts were sent flying. Blades glistened hideously as they clashed against each other. Divine power was used rampantly as the gods took each other’s lives.

Paradise was ravaged as the war continued, and the gods were eventually halved in number. It was only then that the gods realized that killing each other wasn’t their purpose. The End was lingering before their eyes.

The gods believed that their negative emotions and memories were what had brought the End nearer and decided to call those feelings ‘Evil’.

And so, they decided to cast aside the evil feelings in their souls. Souls were like a storage, and the gods, who could govern everything about themselves, were capable of throwing away select emotions and memories that were stored in their souls.

There had already been gods who had cast aside and poured out the negative feelings that they could not bear to keep even before the war, but the gods went through turmoil when the method was first suggested.

A lot of the gods were reluctant. They wanted to know where those negative feelings would go. Feelings were invisible to the eyes once they had been purged, as if the gods had vomited those feelings out, and the gods simply felt refreshed once the negative feelings had left them. Then, one god spoke up.

And suggested that they put the feelings they abandoned inside Pandemonium.

Pandemonium was so very, very, very deep that nothing could come out of it unless I pulled them out myself. There was also a mysterious force at work in Pandemonium. All the gods agreed to this plan even though the negative feelings would simply pile up in Pandemonium —it couldn’t vanish completely. It had seemed like a brilliant plan at the time.

And so, the gods traveled to the other side of Paradise and poured out the feelings that they no longer needed, be it hatred, despair, greed……love, and friendship…… They threw away negative and positive feelings alike into the one hole in the world that pointed to Pandemonium. There were even a few who poured out the memories that they no longer wanted to reminisce over.

The higher-ranking gods, who were also exhausted from the war, did this as well. They were so exhausted that they cast aside their greed, and, now that their hearts were at peace, they reproached themselves for having been so pointlessly greedy and began sharing their divine power with the lower-ranking gods at will. They would throw away their greed when it crept up again, and they repeated this process over and over. The lower-ranking gods revered the higher-ranking gods for doing this, and they willingly followed their example.

Paradise was at peace again —and Pandemonium, which had originally been called as such because it was the Great Chaos where the gods were from, started to be known as Den of Evil.

I asked Ro if the gods had done the right thing, and Ro had answered,

“Throwing away that which they could not endure is no different from shirking their responsibilities……but it was something that Paradise needed them to do. Paradise is filled only with beautiful feelings once more, and I’m sure the gods will be happier for it. Paradise will remain Paradise forever. So I don’t think it was a bad choice.”

But was that true? The world was like a scale, and it obeyed the laws of causality. Would everything really be resolved now that the gods had cast their feelings aside? Would those feelings and memories they abandoned really stay away? Would Paradise really stay this way forever? I was skeptical, but I did not think that Ro was wrong.

Paradise became beautiful again now that there were no more negative feelings inside of it. And in this Paradise filled only with beautiful emotions, new gods started to be born with the higher-ranking gods’ support. For a moment, it looked like the time of chaos was over and things would go back to being normal again.

I had been nervous, but I, too, grew accustomed to the state Paradise was in as time passed and began feeling satisfied with it. I loved seeing the birth of new gods, and I loved watching over Paradise as it overflowed with laughter and happiness.

I had the ability to see the future, but I did not use it. I was afraid of the future. Before, I had not glimpsed the future because I had simply thought that everything would end as a natural matter of course. But now, I was afraid. Paradise seemed like it could be maintained forever now, so what needed to happen for it to meet its End?

Time passed and passed……and one day, I suddenly recalled the dead soul clinging to my roots. And so, I looked for the soul under my roots for the first time in a truly long while.

It had definitely been a lizard before, but it —no, he, had suddenly changed into the form of a boy who looked like Roberstein. Upon a closer look, I found that he was very attractive, even for a god, and he had hair as black as night and black eyes.

But the boy still laid down and stared blankly at the moon like he always had. He hadn’t changed in that regard. I was curious about him, but I also pitied him. He could do nothing but gaze at the moon because I hadn’t pulled him outside. For a truly, truly long time, all he did was spend his lonely days gazing up at the moon. And I pitied him more and more. And it made me question whether I truly had the right to decide what to do with his life.

And then, I wondered if even someone like he could survive in Paradise now that things were peaceful.

The moon was cold. This world was so beautiful, so why was the moon the only thing he could see from the darkness?

Besides, I had an awesome friend in Ro. I didn’t want to burden her, but I suddenly felt greedy and wanted to show him to her as soon as I thought of her. And so, I moved my roots created an opening so I could show her the next day she came to see me. She was startled by the sudden rift in the world, but she cautiously came closer when I waved my leaves. Then, she peeked into the hole that had once been filled with only the moon’s shadow.

And so, they met.

It’s only now that I look back and wonder. Was that something I shouldn’t have done?